Forsaken
by Selphie Leonhart
Summary: The sequel to The Commander. Life in Garden three weeks after the defeat of Oriscala is interrupted by some terrifying events...


# Forsaken 

###  Part One 

####  By Selphie Leonhart 

  
  


Rated PG-13 for language, violence and adult subject matter. 

Forsaken ~ abandoned; marooned; left in the wilderness without love or care; to leave someone who depends on you. 

Authors Note: This is the sequel to The Commander. I strongly advise you read that first, as a lot of relationships changed and events occurred which are vital to the plotline. This story occurs almost directly after the events in The Commander. The SeeD's, all eight of them, have returned to Garden and are now beginning to settle down into their old routine. Rinoa has become Squall's secretary, and he has resumed command of the Garden. Quistis has returned to teaching as soon as her health would allow it, and is trying to recover from her ordeal at the hands of Seifer. Zell and Celesa are making up for lost time, as are Selphie and Irvine. Fujin and Seifer are now friends with the others (except Quistis, for obvious reasons) but there is still a lot of unresolved tension, the actions of the past can't easily be forgotten. 

Part One ~ Redemption. 

HR ...Cleansing of sin.... 

Edea shut her eyes against the breeze as she sat on the white sand outside her home. The crumbling stone orphanage was still beautiful, even though Edea had to admit it was slowly becoming uninhabitable. She tucked her woollen stole around her tighter, and opened her caramel eyes to gaze out into the ocean she loved so much. This beach...where her children had played, where they had held bonfires, where happy toddlers had chased each other and built sandcastles. She had loved those times, when she would care for them, and try and make them forget their own unhappiness. 

It was sometimes impossible. A child's heart only had so much recovery ability. One too many blows could ruin a child. Like her Squall. Edea smiled at the memory, of the tiny baby she had received from a silent villager, unwilling to care for it herself. He was the youngest child she had ever taken in, most were toddlers before they came to her. He was barely a week old when Edea received him. When she asked what his name was, the village woman simply looked at him, and handed a note. It was blood smeared, but the beautiful writing was still legible. 

'Matron, I know you are a good woman, please look after baby Squall. His birthday is the 23rdof August, and his father's name is....' 

There the note had ended. The writer obviously dead. The villager had said only two words to Edea when she asked about Squall's mother. Raine Leonhart. So Leonhart was the surname she had given the tiny, screaming baby. 

He was such a loving, affectionate child. Edea had felt so drawn to him, maybe because he was so adoring, but mostly because Squall, even in the present, radiated vulnerability. Most women now found it alluring. Edea found it sad. Because she knew that even though he tried to hide it, he was vulnerable. But it was this air of helplessness which made her so fiercely protective of him. She loved him as if he was her own son, he filled a space in her life which no other child had been able to. Maybe it was because of how he clung to her, he perceived her as his mother. 

All that had changed when Ellone arrived. Squall now clung to Ellone. He ran to her with scraped knees and bruises, Ellone was the one who fell asleep with the infant Squall in her arms now, not Edea. She wasn't jealous, just wistful. She tried to treat all her children equally, but Squall was special. He always would be. When she had lost that special bond with him, Edea had felt as if she had lost her own child. But it made her happy to see how alive he became whenever Ellone was around. The two were inseparable. He always had been a happy child, loving, innocent. When Ellone left, the bottom fell out of this angel's world. 

Squall, now a three year old, stood outside the orphanage in all weathers, waiting for his Sis to return to him. His eyes, which once shone with happiness, began to take on the tempestuous air which resided in them even today. Edea began to see why this child was named Squall, he had an aura of menacing storm clouds about him. The sparkling blue jewels which were his eyes changed to a stone grey, with only the faintest tinge of the intense sapphire they had glowed before. They never lost their brilliance though, or their captivating quality. When Ellone left, Edea held a faint hope that Squall would turn back to her. 

He didn't. Instead, he became cold. He shunned the other children, however hard they tried to make him like them. He played with them sometimes, but barely ever spoke to them. Edea worried about her little boy, he had lost so much before he was even four years old, and she was scared he was irreversibly damaged. Her other children flocked around Squall with the persistence of youth, coaxing him to join their games, giving him impromptu cuddles and affectionate touches. Squall shrugged off all this, preferring to be alone. Edea remembered one occasion, while putting him to bed she had kissed his baby soft cheek. He had looked at her coldly, and turned away. It had been enough to make the Sorceress cry. 

It had almost broken her heart to send him and the others away to Garden. Little Selphie, her smallest child, Irvine, the most sensitive, Zell, the most lively, Seifer, the bully. Even though they all had their faults, they were hers and she had raised most of them since they were barely toddlers. Quistis, being so charming and beautiful, had been adopted the previous summer by a young couple who lived in Galbadia. That loss had been hard on all of them. But Squall had been the hardest to let go of. 

Shaking herself out of her memories, Edea scooped up a handful of fine sand, letting it trail through her fingers as she remembered the sound of the childrens laughter on this beach, almost fifteen years ago. Now, her little children were all grown up into fine, responsible SeeD's. Even Seifer, and her little Selphie. Squall though, he was the Commander of SeeD, twice saviour of the world, and was the knight of a beautiful and powerful Sorceress. Maybe he wasn't as damaged as she had feared, Edea thought with a proud smile. Hearing a call, Edea stood, and watched sadly as her husband stood beside the full van. All their possessions, all their dreams, were now to be transported to Garden. To help Squall, they had decided to go back to Garden, so Cid could help out while Squall finished studying. It wasn't fair on him to have all this work, especially as he was so young and still hadn't completed his studies. But Edea would miss her stone cottage, even though it meant she was going to be reunited with all her children once more 

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Squall pushed his gloveless fingers through his hair, pushing the dark strands out of his eyes as he tried to make sense of the documents littering his huge mahogany desk. He heard the door open, without a knock, and looked up in irritation. The expression left his face as his secretary entered the room. She smiled at him, crossing over to his desk. Pushing the paper away, she sat on top of the desk infront of him, smiling wickedly. 

"Why don't you take a break?" she asked him innocently, tracing patterns with her fingernail on his desk. Squall sighed. 

"I am too busy, Rinoa.." he said reluctantly. She pouted in disappointment, but he caught her hand. 

"It wont be for long." he said in a low voice. She smiled warmly. 

"I understand. I can't wait until Cid gets here," she said, pushing his hair away from his forehead. He took her hand away with a frown, he hated it when she played with his hair. Rinoa smiled cheekily. She knew it too. She dropped her hands to her lap, staring at him. 

"Come on..." she implored him. He looked troubled. 

"Haven't you got something you should be doing?" he pointed out, attempting to get his papers from underneath her. Rinoa laughed. 

"No. You don't give me enough work." she said with a smile. Squall raised an eyebrow. 

"Really? I'll bear that in mind." he said drily. Rinoa was about to reply when they heard a knock at the door. Rinoa instantly leapt off his desk and retreated to what seemed an innocent distance, blushing slightly. Squall called for whoever it was to enter. A nervous looking Esthar SeeD entered the room. 

"Commander?" she asked nervously. Squall nodded. She bit her lip, glancing down nervously at the paper in her hands. 

"I have a message...from the President..." she said. Squall wondered how long this was going to take. 

"President Loire requests a visit..." she said anxiously. Squall sighed. 

"Does she want to come here or me to visit her?" he asked impatiently. The SeeD looked as if he had just slapped her. 

"President Loire wants to visit here..." she said. Squall nodded. 

"That's fine. Dismissed." he said. The SeeD saluted nervously and dashed out of the room. Rinoa stepped over to Squall. 

"You scared her!" she admonished him. Squall smiled at her. 

"I have a cold, heartless reputation to keep up. Anyway, it really attracts women," he said playfully. Rinoa grinned. 

"I'll go find out when Ellone wants to visit." she said, walking from the room. Squall watched his girlfriend leave with a smile. 

Outside, Rinoa could see the SeeD and two of her friends discussing the recent encounter. Rinoa didn't mean to eavesdrop, but they were chatting so loudly it was hard not to. She guessed they were only about fifteen, and had recently become SeeD's at the new Esthar Garden. 

"He is so cute!" The nervous one gushed. Rinoa smiled. Her friend grabbed her arm. 

"Is he really as gorgeous as everyone says? What did he say to you?" she asked excitedly. The first one had a dreamy expression on her face. 

"He is wonderful...he didn't say much though. Everyone says how cold he is." she said. Rinoa laughed quietly. 

The third SeeD glanced over to the office. 

"Well...you know what all the male SeeD's are like at our Garden...he's probably dating his secretary." she said bitterly. Rinoa burst out laughing. The three SeeD's turned to her, expressions of horror on their faces as they realised how loud they had been talking. The first one stepped forward anxiously. 

"I'm so...sorry.." she stammered. Rinoa waved a hand in dismissal. 

"It's okay. When does Ellone...I mean President Loire want to visit?" she asked, opening a thick book. 

"Um...Friday, if it is convenient." she said. All three looked at her nervously as she wrote in the book in her sloping handwriting. They were surprised she was being so nice to them. Rinoa looked up, smiling at them. 

"Anything else?" she asked sweetly. They shook their heads and turned to leave. Rinoa stood up, calling after them. 

"Oh, by the way, he is dating his secretary. I'm Rinoa Heartilly." she said smugly. They looked at her, open-mouthed, horrified to discover they had insulted the Sorceress Rinoa, who was as well known as the Commander himself. They practically ran from the office, leaving Rinoa giggling. 

*************************************************************************** 

Selphie lay on her back in the short grass, day-dreaming. Her eyes were open as she gazed into the leafy green above her, her emerald eyes glassy as her mind was somewhere else. She didn't hear Irvine approach, and didn't flinch when he lay down beside her, leaning against the tree shading her. He grinned, and touched her bare shoulder lightly. Selphie jumped, her eyes wide in shock. He smiled lazily at her, and she hit him playfully. 

"Whatcha do that for?!" she asked him. He shrugged. 

"I was afraid you were comatose. Sefie, anyone ever told you how much time you spend with your head in the clouds?" he asked her mockingly. She shrugged, and shut her eyes. Irvine was annoyed. 

"Sefie!" he called her. Reluctantly, she opened one eye to look at him. 

"I was having such a nice day-dream." she said wistfully. Irvine smiled. 

"What about?" he asked. Selphie smiled to herself. 

"I was with a gorgeous guy. Brave, intelligent, in SeeD uniform..." she said, her voice trailing off. Irvine smiled smugly. 

"What were we doing?" he asked flirtatiously. Selphie laughed. 

"You! What makes you think I'd day-dream of you? I was thinking of Squall, actually." she said, laughing at his crestfallen expression. He sighed. 

"Good. Only Squall." he said in relief. Selphie opened both eyes now. 

"Only Squall?" she repeated. He smiled lazily. 

"Yeah. What are the chances you'd run off with him? Anyway, I wouldn't try and stop you if you did." he said. Selphie felt insulted. 

"Why not?" she asked indignantly, propping herself up on her elbows. Irvine laughed. 

"Because, with anyone else I'd kick their ass and carry you off kicking and screaming. But there's no way I'd win against him. And besides, Rinoa wouldn't let you run far," he said. Selphie shuddered. 

"Yeah...Rinoa would scratch my eyes out." she said. 

"Why would I do that?" 

They turned to see Rinoa standing over them. Selphie smiled brightly. 

"We were just talking about what would happen if I ran off with Squall." she said innocently. Rinoa smiled, sitting beside Selphie cross-legged. 

"No, I wouldn't do that. I'd kill him first." she said with a low laugh. Irvine grinned at her. 

"So where is he?" Irvine asked. Rinoa sighed, and picked a daisy, twirling it between his fingers. 

"Working..." she said with a sigh. Selphie took the tiny flower away from her. 

"You haven't got long. Cid and Edea will be here soon. Then Squall will be free!" she said playfully. Rinoa smiled weakly. 

"I guess. Where's Quistis?" she asked. Selphie shrugged. 

"Teaching." she said, a hint of disapproval in her voice. Rinoa agreed with her. 

"She went back too soon. I know she still...has nightmares." Rinoa said. Selphie looked downcast. 

"It has only been five weeks...she feels she can handle it. But I know she's still depressed." Selphie said. It was the understatement of the year. Irvine sighed. 

"She just needs a man." he said tactlessly. Rinoa and Selphie both glared at him. Irvine recoiled from the women's icy stares. 

"God...I'm sorry! I forgot..." he said. Rinoa waved her hand in dismissal, but Selphie shot him a menacing gaze. Irvine lay back down, trying to make himself a smaller target. Selphie ignored him. 

"That is why she's so depressed. She can't handle it, no matter what she says. The problem is...I don't know what to say to her." Selphie said with a sigh. Rinoa nodded. 

"Neither do I." she said. Rinoa and Squall had only let the others know what had happened to Quistis after they got back to Garden. They were shocked, to say the least, and for a while Seifer found himself completely without friends. Then they had come to terms with it, and gradually got back on speaking terms with him. Quistis however, was unable to be in the same room as him. Which was understandable. Rinoa doubted she would be able to go through the same thing and not hate Seifer. But still, there was a lot of tension in the little group. 

*************************************************************************** 

Quistis glanced up at the silent class. They were all working hard on the test she had set them, an important, end of term paper. Although she didn't want to, her eyes were drawn to the empty chair. She looked down quickly. If she allowed her eyes to dwell too long in that particular spot, then the memories of that fateful day would return full force. Quistis shut her eyes, holding the pen tighter in her hand as she tried to block out the memories of him. He had been moved up a class, when Quistis decided she was going to return to teaching. 

Squall had tried his best to be sensitive. When she had asked him to give her back her Instructors badge, and let her take her old class, he had gazed at her with his stone blue eyes and asked in a low voice if she wanted Seifer removed. She had nodded her assent, not saying anything. The pupils assumed that he had been moved up as he was too old for this class anyway, being nineteen and in a class of seventeen year olds. Luckily, none of the pupils found out about what Seifer had actually done. 

Her life hadn't been the same since that day when he had ruined her. She still woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, her sapphire eyes wide with shock and fear, tears streaking her cheeks. The nightmares...sometimes she felt as if she was back in the lab, as if he was still there, leering down at her, kissing her roughly until her lips stung, as if he was still violating her, regardless of her sobs and feral cries of pain. 

Quistis' breathing quickened as she thought of him. The familiar emotions of fear, disgust, and deep loneliness threatened to overwhelm her as she dropped the pen, clasping her hands together in an effort to compose herself. She began to shake, and was aware suddenly of a few students in the front row looking at her in concern. Quistis was unable to combat her treacherous emotions though, as she felt a wave of panic come over her. Pushing her chair back with a loud scraping sound, she ran from the room. 

For the third time in two weeks, Quistis had a panic attack. 

*************************************************************************** 

"I don't think....Quistis, this is too much for you," Squall said in despair. Quistis stood in his office, gazing out of the wide window. Squall stood behind her, not sure what to say. He tried to reason with her. 

"We're worried about you...this isn't healthy..." he said to her. Quistis put a hand on the glass, gazing out at the sparkling Rinauld coast. 

"Healthy...no, I suppose it isn't. But I need to work, Squall. What else is there? Sit in my room, thinking over and over what happened? Is that healthy?" she asked, a bitter edge to her voice. Squall sighed. 

"Please Quistis.." he asked the older SeeD. She looked at him, and he saw deep sadness in her eyes. 

"I know you care Squall, and that you'd never say it. You don't need to, all of us know it. But please, let me deal with this in my own way. None of you know what I went through. How can you help?" she said, no hardness in her tone, just flatness. Squall looked helpless. 

"We can help you get over this..if you need to talk, then we'll listen." he said gently. Quistis laughed. 

"Do you remember when you told me to go talk to a wall? Should I do that?" she asked with a trace of humour. Squall almost cringed. 

"I was heartless then. Sorry." he said sincerely. Quistis smiled weakly. 

"I know." she said softly. Squall sighed. 

"I don't want you to go back to work yet...this fear you have, it's too much." he said gently. Quistis folded her arms, looking out of the window again. 

"Oh, I am sorry...I'll try my hardest to get over my irrational fear of rape." she said bitterly. Squall knew he had said the wrong thing. 

"It's natural to feel that way..." he began. Quistis turned away from him completely. 

"You don't know how I feel." she said coldly. She took a deep breath. "Are you going to suspend me?" she asked. Squall shook his head. 

"No. I want you to make your decision. If you feel you can handle it, that's fine. I want what is best for you," he said. This was hard work for him, and it showed. Quistis was irritated by his words, which were so un-Squall like. 

"I'm going," she said rudely, and walked out of his office. Squall was left looking at a slammed door where the Instructor had gone. Sighing, he returned to his desk, looking depressed. After a few minutes, Rinoa walked into the room. She crossed to his desk, and stood beside him, her hand on his shoulder. 

"You did your best," she said soothingly. Squall sighed. 

"I can't help her. Just like when she was kidnapped. I couldn't save her then, and I can't do it now." he said bitterly. Standing behind him, Rinoa leant over, wrapping her arms around him, resting her cheek against his. 

"There is nothing more any of us can do." she said sympathetically, making a mental note to spend more time with Quistis. Squall stood up, shaking off Rinoa's embrace. He walked to the window, where the sun was just beginning to set. 

"I feel so guilty..." he said quietly. Rinoa nodded. She felt the same. Now they had accepted Seifer as their friend, it was a very difficult situation. Rinoa moved in front of him, sitting on the desk 

"Maybe...with time?" he murmured hopefully, gazing into her onyx eyes. She sighed, reaching up to his forehead to brush his hair out of his eyes. Gently, she traced his scar with her fingertip. He frowned, wondering what she meant. 

"Some scars never heal," she whispered sadly. 

*************************************************************************** 

Selphie was day-dreaming again. She sat at her desk, staring at the terminal as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. Her mind was absorbed in fantasies about being a Sorceress herself, and all the fun things she would do. Unfortunately, her instructor noticed her inattention. 

"Tilmitt!" he yelled. Selphie didn't budge, her glassy eyes fixed in the distance. He stormed over to her, irritated by her disobedience. 

"Miss Tilmitt!" he cried in her ear. She didn't react, until her friend nudged her sharply in the ribs. Shaken out of her reverie, Selphie looked faintly surprised. She smiled brightly at her instructor, who was a crabby older man. He looked as if his head was about to explode. 

"Yes?" she asked politely. He was livid. 

"Selphie Tilmitt! I assume you know everything there is to know about the effects of the GF, do you?" he asked in a dangerous tone. Selphie looked innocent. 

"Yes...actually, they cause memory loss." she said in an even tone. Her instructor looked mad. 

"No! That has never been proven! Miss Tilmitt, despite what you might think, you are not the best SeeD in this class! Pay attention!" he yelled. Selphie smiled sweetly. 

"Oh, I know that...Squall is the best SeeD!" she said. He sighed in exasperation. 

"And I wish some of it would rub off on you.And you refer to him as the Commander please. You have so little respect, Miss Tilmitt, it is shocking..." he said nastily. Selphie looked surprised. 

"I wouldn't want to be too much like Squall...I mean the 'Commander," she said with a hint of sarcasm. "He works waaay too hard." she said. Her instructor threw up his hands in despair. 

"You are impossible!" he yelled at her. By this time, most of the class were laughing. Selphie couldn't see why, she was just answering honestly. The instructor was preparing to let rip with a torrent of abusive remarks about Selphie's lack of respect, when suddenly the small girl went very grey. The sweet smile left her face, and she stood up shakily, pushing past the instructor to run from the classroom. The girl sitting next to her followed, seeing an opportunity to escape from class. The instructor stared after the two girls open-mouthed. 

Sara caught up with Selphie just outside the classroom, where she was standing hunched over, clutching her middle. 

"Selphie? Are you ok?" she asked. Selphie stood up straight, and began running down the corridor. Sara followed her as she dashed into the second floor bathrooms. She wrinkled up her nose in disgust as she heard the sounds of vomiting coming from the bathroom. 

"Selphie? Are you sick?" she asked dumbly. If Selphie hadn't been worshipping the toilet bowl right then she would have thought of a sharp retort, but as it was she barely had time to wonder how the hell Sara ever managed to make it through to being a cadet before a wave of nausea overtook her. Staggering over to the sinks, Selphie washed her face. Looking at herself in the mirror, she noticed how off-colour she was. She saw Sara's concerned reflection in the mirror. 

"Shall we go to the infirmary?" she younger girl asked. Selphie nodded, and the two walked there slowly. 

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That night, Rinoa had a nightmare. She was running through a field, and it was raining harder than she ever thought it could. She could barely see three foot in front of her. All around was burnt grass, and a stench of destruction. She had a horrible empty feeling inside her as she ran, not knowing what she was looking for. She turned, running in different directions, not knowing why she was there, or even who she was. It was terrible. 

She thrashed around, involuntarily tugging at the sheets, pulling them off her. She made little moaning noises, and anxious gasps, as she tried to escape from her nightmare. She even raised a hand, in an attempt as sorcery, but as she was asleep it had no effect. Eventually, her tossing and turning became so violent she managed to hit Squall hard on the stomach, waking him up. He sat up, shocked out of his sleep by the blow. He looked concerned as he saw Rinoa, her face twisted in angst. He grabbed her waving arms, trying to calm her down. She struggled against him. 

"Rinoa...wake up," he whispered to her. She calmed down at the sound of his voice, opening her eyes. Squall was a little surprised to se they were tinged with amber, but the sorceress hue melted away as she realised she was safe. Squall gazed into her face, worried. She had been having nightmares for the last week. She smiled tightly at him. 

"Sorry," she whispered. He smiled at her. 

"You punched me." he whispered back. She giggled. 

"I didn't mean to." she said with a smile. Squall laid back down beside her, his face turned to hers. She smiled at him, pulling the rumpled sheets back over them both. She sighed, looking out at their balcony, where the long curtains were waving gently in the breeze. Shivering slightly, she moved closer to Squall, who wrapped his arms around her. Smiling to herself, she shut her eyes, and slowly they both drifted back off to sleep. 

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The following morning, Squall awoke to the sounds of vomiting coming from their en suite bathroom. Quickly, he went over there, noticing the door was only half shut. Rinoa was half collapsed on the floor, her head over the toilet as her body shook from retching. He knelt beside her, holding her hair back as she was sick. Eventually she stood, wiping tears from her eyes before washing her face. He watched her in concern. 

"Rinoa? How do you feel?" he asked her. She looked pale. She pushed past him and went over to her wardrobe, pulling out her cadet's uniform. 

"I'm fine. I must have eaten something bad, that's all," she said in a slightly annoyed voice. Squall sighed. 

"I think there's a bug going around. Selphie was ill yesterday." he said. Rinoa nodded. Squall sat on the bed, watching her as she dressed. 

"Don't go into work today," he said gently. Rinoa turned to him. 

"You worry too much." she said with a faint smile. He got up, walking over to her. 

"It won't do me any good if I'm stuck in here all day. Anyway, I feel much better now." she said, straightening the yellow silk ribbons which hung from her collar, denoting her cadet rank. Sighing, Squall passed her the hairbrush she was reaching for. She smiled at him. 

"I'll be fine. If I'm sick again, I'll see Dr Kadowaki." she said. Squall reluctantly agreed. 

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Ellone looked out into Esthar from the huge windows of the Presidential Palace. Her city was so huge and sparkling, it was like looking at a fantastic painting. Laguna had loved this sight, and so did she. 

Thinking of her adoptive father left Ellone feeling sad, but immensely proud. Laguna had made a great leader, no matter what anyone said. He had turned Esthar into the prosperous, self-sufficient country it was today. Now, Ellone wanted to concentrate on what had been his final project, re-uniting Esthar with the rest of the world. The only possible problem was Galbadia, who as always, had a stock of slimy, corrupt leaders who were only out to grab money for themselves, and if possible make Galbadia the most powerful and menacing country in the world. They had claimed that, as a daughter of Deling City, the Sorceress Rinoa was on their side, and had insinuated that she was a weapon Esthar should be afraid of. Ellone laughed off these claims, how could her little brother's girlfriend be a threat? And anyway, she knew Rinoa well, they were friends. If anything, Rinoa was an ally of Esthar, not the other way round. 

Ellone didn't fear war. Galbadia was too cowardly to take on Esthar in a fair war, as Esthar undoubtedly had the full support of all four Gardens, seeing as the Commander of SeeD was her brother. And Balamb had a rapidly growing army, which fully supported Garden. So any war against Esthar was a war against SeeD, and a war Galbadia couldn't possibly win. Therefore, Ellone looked forward to peace, and hoped to strengthen relations with Galbadia, and gently encourage a more democratic government there. Timber had been liberated almost directly after the Ultimecia incident, so most of the Galbadian menace had been resolved. But there was still much work to do over there. 

Ellone stepped away from the window, suddenly feeling a little dizzy. Walking over to one of the plush sofas in the room, she sat down heavily, running a hand through her jagged cut hair. She felt her stomach churn uncomfortably, and with a frown clutched her arms around her middle. This was strange, Ellone was rarely ever ill. For a second, thoughts of poison flashed through her mind, there were still a few groups who wanted to overthrow the Loires from power, but she quickly dismissed them. None of her staff were treacherous. Then nervously she thought of the secretary, who had ordered her at gunpoint to leave Laguna's body and escorted her to the damp caves where she had been held captive. 

There was a soft knock at the door, and one of the cleaners entered. Feeling a sudden wave of sickness, Ellone got up and dashed from the room, leaving the cleaner staring after her in surprise. 

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"You're staying here." Dr Kadowaki ordered Selphie as the girl pouted in her annoyance. Selphie hated being cooped up. Sara had made a hasty exit after Selphie began throwing up again, preferring to go back to her boring class. Selphie now looked very pissed off as she half lay, half sat in the infirmary bed, her arms folded across her chest, a thermometer in her mouth. Dr Kadowaki was looking on with a look of almost amusement. Most pupils would prefer to stay there than go to lessons. 

She removed the thermometer from Selphie's mouth, raising an eyebrow as she saw what the temperature was. Selphie looked a little concerned. 

"What is it?" she asked. Dr Kadowaki looked grave. 

"I'm afraid...you're a few degrees below normal." she said. Selphie sighed. Dr Kadowaki smiled. 

"Selphie, you'll be alright soon. Stay here and rest for a few hours. I wont make you stay overnight." she reassured her. Selphie flopped back down on the bed, reluctantly handing over her nunchaku to Dr Kadowaki. The doctor propped them up in the corner, admiring the fine etching on them. The Strange Vision was a beautiful weapon. Selphie looked at them longingly. Dr Kadowaki caught on. 

"And no going to the Training Centre. This could be an overdose of poison from one of those Grats, you know," she warned Selphie. She rummaged in the cupboard, pulling out a bottle of pink liquid. Setting it on the side, she addressed Selphie. 

"What did you eat yesterday?" she asked her. Selphie stared at the ceiling. 

"Cereal...salad...I didn't have anything in the evening." she said guiltily. Dr Kadowaki sighed, making a mental note to lecture Selphie on nutrition as soon as she was better. 

"I think it is Grat poison. Drink this." she said, handing Selphie a little cup filled with the pink liquid. Selphie did obediently, and immediately felt very sleepy. 

"Wha...you did this on purpose..." she mumbled in annoyance as she trailed off into sleep. Dr Kadowaki grinned. Now Selphie would be forced to rest. 

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Quistis sat by Selphie's bedside, waiting for the younger girl to wake up. On her lap were papers, which Selphie's instructor had asked Quistis to give to the girl. Looking over them, Quistis knew Selphie could do them standing on her head, but the amount was excessive. She rightly guessed this instructor had a personal grudge against Selphie. Eventually, the smaller girl woke up. 

"Quisty..where am I?" she asked sleepily. Quistis smiled faintly. 

"In the infirmary. I think Dr Kadowaki played a little trick on you to get you to rest," Quistis said with a smile. Selphie looked annoyed, but it didn't last long. She noticed the papers. 

"Marking essays?" she asked hopefully. Quistis shook her head. 

"These are for you." she said. Selphie groaned. 

"But...there's so much!" she said, looking in horror at the amount of work waiting for her. Quistis laughed quietly. 

"I know. Maybe you should transfer back into my class. I do have a vacancy..." she said, the smile leaving her face. Selphie replied quickly, before Quistis could dwell on her thoughts of 'the vacancy' 

"I'd love to move down again. Up there my brain works too hard. Can we make Squall order it or something? You know how 'omnipotent' he is." she said with a laugh. Quistis smiled. 

"I don't think he would agree. You wouldn't listen to me anyway. And you would insist on calling me Quistis, I'd lose all respect!" she said, handing Selphie her nunchaku as she got out of the bed. 

"No I wouldn't, Instructor Trepe." she said, mockingly. Quistis laughed. 

"See?" she said with a smile. Selphie reluctantly took the mass of paper away from Quistis and the two walked out of the infirmary. 

*************************************************************************** 

The Esthar SeeD had been dreading this. Returning to the Commander's office, having to face Sorceress Rinoa again...no, she wasn't looking forward to it at all. She stepped out of the elevator, walking slowly to the oak doors, pushing them open. Inside, Rinoa sat at her desk, speaking on a telephone. She hung up a few seconds after the Esthar SeeD entered the room. Rinoa smiled at her. 

"Back again?" she said sweetly. The SeeD felt a blush rising to her cheeks. 

"Um, yeah...I need to deliver another message to the Commander." she said nervously, unable to meet Rinoa's eyes. Rinoa got up, and knocked on the door of Squall's office, before opening the door. She smiled at him, before announcing who it was with flair. The SeeD gazed at Squall, unable to move. 

"Um..President Loire will not be able to make the visit, as she is unwell," she said nervously. Squall looked a little concerned. 

"What's wrong with her?" he asked. The SeeD looked terrified. 

"I...I don't know," she said. Squall sighed. 

"Fine. You can go, if that's all." he said picking up the phone. The SeeD thankfully fled from the office, not pausing to say goodbye to Rinoa. 

Squall phoned his sister. He slammed down the phone in irritation as there was no reply, wondering what was wrong with her. He and Ellone still weren't particularly close, but he was concerned for her welfare. 

*************************************************************************** 

Rinoa sat with Quistis, Zell and Fujin in the canteen as they ate lunch. Rinoa wasn't very hungry, as she was still feeling a little queasy from that morning. She knew Selphie wasn't well either, and suspected this was some****kind of virus going around. Rinoa put down the sandwich she was attempting to eat, and looked at her friends. Zell appeared to have no problem eating, and looked at her questioningly as she put down her food. She smiled at him and passed the half-eaten sandwich, which he proceeded to stuff into his mouth. 

"I see Celesa hasn't been able to teach you manners," Quistis said, looking on in mock disgust. Rinoa laughed. 

"I thought an older girlfriend would do him some good, but it appears that no one can teach Zell to *chew*!" she said with a giggle. Fujin laughed as Zell began to choke. The others looked away, ignoring his exaggerated gestures. Eventually, he recovered, and looked annoyed. 

"You could try and help me!" he said indignantly. Quistis laughed. 

"Last time I helped you when you choked you chased me and Selphie halfway round the ball room!" she said to him. Zell smirked in guilty recognition of his actions. Then his face fell. 

"I feel...sick..." he said, pushing away his plate of food. Rinoa looked at him in concern. 

"Really? Because I threw up this morning all over..." Her voice trailed off as Zell's eyes got bigger and he spewed up all over the table. The three girls leapt back and stared in disgust and concern as Zell was violently sick. A hush fell over the cafeteria, students murmuring in disgust, and pushing away their own food. The lunch ladies looked on speechless. 

"Sorry," Zell said weakly. 

*************************************************************************** 

Dr Kadowaki looked at the three with disapproval. The three eighteen year olds looked back guiltily. 

"I am especially annoyed at you two because you didn't come to me immediately. Selphie, have you been back in the Training Centre?" she asked angrily. 

"No," Selphie lied. Dr Kadowaki looked at her suspiciously. 

"You three..you're meant to be three of the best students we have here! Why can't you make time to come here if you feel ill?" she asked in exasperation. Rinoa and Zell looked away like naughty children, which is how she made them feel. 

"Sorry. It was only once, then I felt fine..." Rinoa said, trying to ignore the sudden stomach cramps she felt. Dr Kadowaki was not fooled. 

"How do you feel now?" she asked in a gentler tone. Rinoa bit her lip. 

"A bit queasy..." she admitted. Dr Kadowaki looked frustrated. 

"Honestly...please..when you are *sick* come to me! That's what I am here for! What is it, are you afraid of me?" she asked. Zell stifled a laugh. 

"No." he said. Dr Kadowaki smiled. 

"You should be. I used to be the Card King you know." she said with a hint of pride. Rinoa nodded. 

"I know. But please, can we go now?" she asked. Dr Kadowaki sighed. 

"Fine. But I think you should all take better care of yourselves..rest, make sure you have plenty of remedies when you train, and eat properly. Especially you," she said looking at Selphie. She rolled her eyes. 

"Fine." Selphie said tritely. Dr Kadowaki ushered them out of the infirmary and began to write prescriptions for them and make notes. She didn't want an epidemic spreading around Garden. 

*************************************************************************** 

Edea looked around the huge marble and glass hall of Garden, surprised at how beautiful the place was for a military academy. The streams and fountains made the place look serene, and inspired a sense of calm which was really out of place in a school which trained mercenaries. She heard a happy giggle and a deep laugh, and looking down the corridor saw two familiar figures. A tiny girl with flicked up hair and a blonde boy with an intricate tattoo on his face were wrestling playfully. The girl seemed unconcerned with how very unladylike she was being, and darted out of the boys grasp by whatever ways possible. Eventually he managed to hold her and throw her on the ground, where she lay giggling uncontrollable. He went to walk away and she pulled him down beside her. Just then, a member of Garden faculty came running up to them and hauled the pair of them to their feet. 

Edea watched as he admonished them severely, and the two SeeD's tried their best not to look like naughty children. Edea laughed to herself as Selphie and Zell were escorted up to the former headmaster's office, where no doubt the Garden master would expect Squall to punish them. Those Garden masters...they never remembered faces. All SeeD students were just numbers to them. All they cared about was discipline and order, and their methods weren't always the most effective. But, Selphie and Zell were virtually untouchable, being best friends with the Commander himself. 

Edea couldn't wait to see Squall again. She hadn't had the chance last time her children came to visit, and there was so much she needed to tell him, now that he knew about his past. She wanted to see how much he had grown since last year, see whether or not he managed to crack a smile every now and then. She doubted it, but she needed to know. 

Edea walked alone up to the elevator, pressing the button which was still marked 'headmaster's office' even though it was now the Commander's office. She smiled as she thought of how she always knew Squall would be someone special, even though all he ever wanted was to blend in and be ignored. 

She stepped out of the elevator, and pushing her long hair over her shoulder, she went over to the oaken door, pushing it open and stepping into the smaller office which bordered Squall's. Rinoa was sitting at her desk, writing busily. Edea smiled at the younger Sorceress. Rinoa, sensing her presence, looked up, and smiled brightly. 

"Matron!" she gasped, standing up. Edea smiled at her. 

"We're here. Now you can have your boyfriend back," she said lightly. Rinoa smiled. 

"I was kinda enjoying having him to myself all day, even if he is constantly working and has no time for me," she said with a laugh. She and Edea walked into Squall's office. He was typing rapidly on the terminal in front of him, and didn't appear to notice the two women's approach. Zell and Selphie, however, did. 

"Matron!" Selphie squealed, running over to the older woman. Edea couldn't believe how much that action was like the little three year old Selphie had been. It made her laugh. Zell looked ecstatic. 

"You're here! Great!" he said happily. Squall looked up, and was surprised. He walked over with a faint smile on his face. 

"Matron, welcome," he said in a low voice. She smiled at him, gazing into his stone blue eyes. He looked tired, she noted with concern. Squall broke her gaze by looking away. 

"Is Cid here also?" he asked. Edea nodded. Rinoa stepped up to Squall. 

"Finished punishing Zell and Selphie?" she asked with a grin. The two were busy talking on the balcony, and seemed to be having a good time. Squall smiled wryly. 

"The Garden master practically ordered me to discipline them. I said I'd keep them with me for a while. They seem to be amusing themselves..." he said, looking over to where Zell was threatening to hold Selphie over the balcony if she didn't give him back his minimog card. She did, and he put the tiny girl down. 

Edea watched them with a smile. "They really haven't changed since they were toddlers." she said with a laugh. Rinoa giggled. 

"Has Squall?" she asked, looking at him as he began to blush. Edea smiled. 

"Not much," she said quietly. Squall walked away from them. 

"I do have work to do." he said in an effort to make them leave. Edea took his arm. 

"No, you don't. That's why Cid and I are here. Go have a break, take Rinoa out somewhere nice...talk to your friends," she encouraged, pushing Rinoa towards Squall. He put a hand on Rinoa's waist as she jerked towards him, and smiled down at her. 

"I did promise you..." he said quietly, with a hint of a smile. She grinned back. 

"Take me there. That new restaurant, with the dance floor." she ordered in her most imperial voice, a smile on her face, falling into the role of a Sorceress. Squall at once became her Knight. 

"As you wish," he said with a smile, and the two left the room, Squall with an arm around Rinoa's waist. Edea watched them go with a smile. She turned as she heard a shriek from the balcony, and saw Zell being suspended in midair by Carbuncle, Selphie's favourite GF. Edea guessed he had insulted it. The little green animal laughed as Zell screamed for help because Selphie tickled him, tears rolling down her face from laughter. Edea decided she better put a stop to this before Zell ordered Bahamut to give Selphie a new hairstyle. Things could get very, very ugly. 

*************************************************************************** 

That night, it was Squall who was unable to sleep. Even though his dreams were usually empty, but untroubled, when he did have nightmares, they were terrible. Nightmares however, were not what concerned him that night, as he lay with the comforting weight of Rinoa in his arms and a warm nighttime breeze blowing in through the balcony doors. 

He felt awful. Not just sick, but it was as if every muscle in his body cried out for rest, but he was unable to sleep, because of the dull pain in his stomach. He wished he hadn't taken Rinoa to a seafood restaurant, as he was sure that was what made him ill. She however seemed fine. Which was probably because she had pasta and salad, while he chose the famed Balamb fish, known for it's difficulty to distinguish from the also legendary Badamb fish, it's poisonous cousin. Gently, he slid Rinoa out of his arms, and got out of bed, walking out onto the balcony. 

Out on the fresh air, he felt slightly better. He rested his arms on the stone railing, looking out onto the ocean, which sparkled in the midnight moon. The soft breeze pushed back the strands of hair from his face, but made him shiver. He shut his eyes, feeling a cramp in his stomach. Then he heard a sound behind him. He turned and saw Rinoa, her skin pale in the moonlight. She didn't smile at him, only moved closer until they were standing with their sides touching. 

"What's wrong?" she asked softly. She wasn't afraid of being heard, as their quarters were far away from the dorms or training centre. She just didn't want to spoil the moment. 

"Squall?" she whispered. He didn't look at her, but sighed. 

"It's nothing. I just feel a little sick, that's all." he confessed reluctantly. Rinoa smiled, and reaching up, pushed his hair away from his scar tenderly. 

"Come back to bed?" she asked softly. He looked out to the ocean. 

"I'll stay here a little while." he said quietly. Rinoa nodded, and kissed his bare shoulder before going back inside. 

Squall smiled to himself. He wondered for the millionth time why he was lucky enough to have her. She could have chosen anyone she wanted, but she had gone for a cold, introverted loner. Well, they do say opposites attract, he said to himself, smiling wryly. The smile left his face as his stomach churned painfully. Squall frowned, clutching onto the edge of the balcony as a wave of nausea came over him. He battled the sensation, and managed to stop himself from being sick. 

Turning away from the ocean, he could see Rinoa's sleeping form on the bed, hugging a pillow in her sleep. He went back in to her, prising the pillow out of her arms and returning it to his side of the bed. He smiled at her as she slept, she looked so innocent when she was asleep he thought. He had no idea she said exactly the same thing about him. He laid back beside her, and she murmured his name in her sleep, moving closer to him unconsciously. Smiling, he put his arms around her and drifted off into an uneasy slumber. 

*************************************************************************** 

"Finally! Someone actually came to me when they are ill!" Dr Kadowaki said as she faced Squall in his office. He smiled, glancing down at his desk. 

"Sorry to ask you to come up here...I'm really busy getting things ready for Cid to take over," he said apologetically. Dr Kadowaki waved a hand in dismissal. 

"I'm just glad you told me. Same symptoms as Rinoa, Zell and Selphie? What have you four all eaten which is the same?" she asked. Squall shook his head. 

"Nothing. And no, we haven't been training together either." he said. Dr Kadowaki frowned. "It must be a bug of some kind. You all spend time together, so you must have passed it on to each other through skin contact. Strange though..." she said. He picked up a bottle of pink medicine. 

"Here. I gave the same thing to Selphie, after I put her to sleep," she said with an uncharacteristic smirk. Squall knew what she meant. Selphie hated to drink even potions when she was forced to in battle. The only liquids she took voluntarily were water, and alcohol. 

"What is it?" he asked. Dr Kadowaki sighed. 

"It should stop the vomiting, lower any fever and generally make you feel better.Have you got a fever?" she asked. Squall shook his head. 

"No. I feel fine now. I only asked you here because I can't afford to be ill." he said. Dr Kadowaki nodded. 

"Zell and Selphie felt fine too after they had been sick. Hopefully this will be the end of it." she said, placing the bottle with instructions on Squall's desk. He thanked her, and she left the room. 

As she passed Rinoa, Dr Kadowaki paused. Rinoa looked up and smile. 

"Squall ok?" she asked lightly. Dr Kadowaki nodded. Rinoa smiled. "Good. He's never ill." she said. Dr Kadowaki cleared her throat. 

"Rinoa...I think you should come and see me sometime." Rinoa looked up innocently. 

"Why?" she asked naively. Dr Kadowaki smiled. 

"Because I think it's time you had a health check. Nothing serious, just a little chat..." she said. Rinoa blushed as she realised what the doctor meant. 

"Oh, okay..." she said hurriedly, looking back at her work. Dr Kadowaki laughed. 

"Rinoa, don't worry about it. I'm not judgmental. I know you aren't making use of the second bedroom up there in the Commander's quarters." she said with a low laugh. Rinoa blushed furiously, and made no reply. 

*************************************************************************** 

Pupils watched in amazement as Seifer killed another T-Rexaur. The training centre was where Seifer spent most of his time now, either training or sitting, thinking. He tried to get out his anger, frustration and most of all guilt. But he just couldn't fight enough battles to stop the tidal wave of emotions inside him. He felt so alone, solely to blame for the whole Oriscala tragedy. And he couldn't come to terms with the monstrosity he had been then, a demon truly. He couldn't believe that was him. He felt sick whenever he thought of it now, what he had done, how he had irrevocably changed someone's life with one obscene act of cruelty. 

Quistis. Her face haunted him, he remembered every struggle, every anguished cry and hollow moan of pain and rage she had made while he violated her. She wasn't the only one who still had nightmares about it. But his nightmares...it was as if he was watching the whole incident, and he couldn't believe it was him. He couldn't do something like that...not consciously. But he had to face it, it was him who laughed as she watched him tear her clothes, silently begging him to stop, him who enjoyed teasing her, making her wonder whether he really would go as far as rape. And to her horror, he had. 

He would give anything to change the past. Guilt was ruining his life, as much as pain and fear was slowly destroying Quistis's. His only true friend was Fujin, and he was ever thankful for her. She was like an angel, she always understood him, and was invariably loyal. He loved Fujin fiercely, not like before, when he had seen her as merely someone who let herself be used by him for whatever he wanted. Before, she, like Raijin, had been simply one of his posse. Now, she was all he lived for. 

Seifer cursed as he lost his concentration, and was hit hard over the head with the tail of the T-Rexaur. He thought it was dead, but he was obviously wrong. He raised his gunblade, trying to shield himself before the massive tail came down again. Seifer screamed in pain as the weight of the beast forced his gunblade through his left arm, slicing muscle and bone. Then it was raised, and for a brief instant Seifer saw his gunblade embedded in the flesh of his chest and arm, before he was dealt another blow across the head, and everything went black. 

*************************************************************************** 

"Um..hi," Rinoa said, nervously hugging her arms across her chest. Dr Kadowaki smiled at her, and motioned for her to sit down at the other side of the desk. 

"You are uncomfortable about this," she said with a smile. Rinoa nodded. 

"I'm just not used to taking about my private life with someone...I don't know at all," she confessed. Dr Kadowaki nodded, understanding. 

"I have this talk with most of the female students at sometime. I'm not going to ask you for details, I just want to know you are alright." she said. Rinoa nodded. Dr Kadowaki looked down. She hated asking this question. 

"Most of the students here...their knowledge is based solely on gossip and magazines. Not many of them have mothers or sisters, as they are orphans. I understand..you mother died when you were young," she said gently. Rinoa nodded, swallowing hard. 

"She was killed in a car crash before I was five," she said in a low voice. Dr Kadowaki nodded. 

"Is there anything you want to ask me? At all?" she prompted. Rinoa shook her head. 

"Do you think Squall would want to ask me anything." Rinoa almost burst out in hysterical laughter at the thought of Squall asking the middle aged doctor for sex advice, but managed to retain a cool disposition. Dr Kadowaki looked at her intently. 

"...No," Rinoa replied with effort to keep her giggles under control. That only made her furious blushing worse. Realising what a ridiculous situation this was, Rinoa felt almost unable to keep the laughter from coming out, and bit her lip in an effort to remain calm. She wondered why she was feeling so giddy, but didn't have time to ponder it as Dr Kadowaki asked her a very personal question. Rinoa's mouth dropped open, and she shrugged. 

"I don't know..." she said, her cheeks burning. Dr Kadowaki sighed. 

"Don't you keep a diary?" she asked. Rinoa shook her head. 

"Could you be pregnant?" she asked bluntly. Rinoa now was unable to contain her giggles. 

"No way!" she laughed. Dr Kadowaki looked sceptical. Rinoa managed to get herself under control again and pressed her lips together to stop more laughter escaping. She couldn't help it, this was the most embarrassing situation she had ever been in.Dr Kadowaki didn't look impressed. 

"Shall we do a test?" she asked Rinoa. Rinoa shook her head. 

"I'm not pregnant! I'd know about it..." she said with a smile. Dr Kadowaki sighed. 

"Rinoa...you were sick yesterday." Rinoa laughed. 

"And so were Selphie and Zell!" she said lightly. Dr Kadowaki raised an eyebrow. 

"Please, Rinoa, humour me. It wont take long." she said. Rinoa sighed. 

"Fine. But I'm not pregnant." she said, slightly irritated. 

*************************************************************************** 

"I'm...pregnant?" she asked incredulously. Dr Kadowaki looked very pissed off. 

"Yes, Rinoa. How I wish we had this talk a few weeks ago..." she said in annoyance. Rinoa felt tears springing to her eyes. This would mean the end of her SeeD career, the end of her job as Squall's secretary... 

"I can't be," she said, hiding her face with her hands, crying softly. Dr Kadowaki took a softer tone with her. 

"How far gone..could you possibly be?" she asked. Rinoa looked up, her eyes red from crying. 

"Three..maybe four weeks..." she choked out. Dr Kadowaki sighed. They hadn't wasted any time. 

"If you really don't want to have this baby...it's not to late to have a termination," she said gently. Rinoa looked up. 

"No, I couldn't do that." she said, drying her eyes. She quickly managed to calm down, and stood up off the bed. Facing Dr Kadowaki, she smiled tightly. 

"This is Squall's baby too. He needs to know." she said, both dreading and anticipating his reaction. Dr Kadowaki nodded, wondering what the Commander would think of this. Or for that matter, what the Headmaster would say. She suddenly remembered something. 

"Rinoa, you have to think about something. I have never treated a Sorceress before, and never even heard of one having a child. I think you should discuss this with Edea." she said softly. Rinoa nodded, and looked nervous. Dr Kadowaki knew why. 

"If you want, I'll tell him," she offered. Rinoa shook her head. 

"It's alright. He needs to hear it from me." she said, wishing she could avoid telling him.This wasn't exactly the best news in the world. 

*************************************************************************** 

Fujin cradled his head in her lap as she cast Holy three times on the monster, causing it to explode. She turned her attention back to Seifer, a frown on her delicate features. 

"Wake," she said softly, in her clipped voice. He didn't move. A small cadet moved towards the kneeling girl. 

"D'ya want me to get help?" he asked her. Fujin nodded, biting her lip in an effort to remain calm. He didn't move as she stroked his face, running her fingers through his short blonde hair, trying to free the golden strands of the cloying dirt and dead leaves which littered the ground of the training centre. Trust Seifer to pick a spot off the beaten track, where the most ferocious monsters lived, and where no-one could find him if he fell. Fujin felt a nagging doubt, maybe he hadn't wanted anyone to find him. 

She knew he felt guilty over what he had done, but suicidal? She prayed not. Seifer was too important to her. Fujin felt a dull ache in her throat as she looked down at his noble face, covered in sticky blood. She couldn't even bear to look at the gaping wounds on his chest and arm, which had long since stopped bleeding. She didn't even know if he was alive, she hadn't checked for a pulse. But somehow, Fujin knew he was alive, barely. He was cold in her arms, but she knew he was still with her. 

*************************************************************************** 

To Rinoa, the stairs to her apartment had never seemed so high. 

She didn't want to climb them, didn't want to open the door, and see Squall waiting for her. Most of all, she didn't want to have to tell him she was never going to be a SeeD. 

Rinoa took the first step. 

Why was she so unlucky? Was it her job to make the lives of those she loved as miserable as possible? Now that she and Squall were settled down, had a life together, she had to go and ruin the illusion for him. 

She was almost at the top of the stars, and she gazed at the shut door of her bedroom. She heard a few notes played on the piano in their room, and smiled despite herself. Squall never played, but she had recently been trying to teach him. She accused him of never practising, but now she saw that he did. 

She pushed open the door slightly, slipping into the room so he wouldn't notice her presence. 

He was standing in front of the piano, playing a simple scale. Rinoa bit her lip, suddenly feeling the urge to run far away from there. But before she could, he realized she was there. 

"Hi...how did it go?" he asked, knowing she had been to he infirmary, but not why. Rinoa swallowed, and crossed to the bed, sitting down. Squall followed her with his eyes. 

"What is it?" he asked softly. Rinoa felt her throat dry, and took a deep breath. 

"Squall, come here," she said in a low, unsure voice. With a trace of concern on his face, he sat on the bed next to her. She shut her eyes briefly, praying he wouldn't be mad at her. 

"I'm having a baby." she said quickly, trying to get the awful words out of her mouth. Squall's mouth dropped open. Rinoa couldn't bear to look at him. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, not sure why she was apologising. Squall made no reply. Rinoa felt tears force themselves to her eyes, assuming his silence meant he was very angry. She stood up, and walked swiftly to the balcony, staring out onto the ocean. There was a strong wind, which whipped her raven hair around her face and caused her blue gown to billow outwards, but not even the strongest breeze could dry the relentless tears which streamed down her cheeks. Squall made no move to follow her, but remained sitting on the bed, too shocked to react. 

*************************************************************************** 

Selphie sat on her bed, watching as Irvine read a weapons magazine. She was bored, as it was weekend in the Garden, and there was nothing to do. She couldn't even go to the Training Centre, as Dr Kadowaki had forbidden her or any of her friends to go there. She still suspected there was poison involved in the sickness. 

Selphie hadn't seen Rinoa or Squall since yesterday, when they had seen Edea. The thought of her foster mother made her smile. Flopping down on the bed, tugging on the hem of her yellow minidress, Selphie looked over to where Irvine was sitting at her desk. 

"D'ya wanna go see Matron?" she asked sleepily. Irvine looked surprised. 

"She's here?" he asked her, closing the magazine. Selphie bit her lip. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you." she said with a giggle. He looked irritated, but she knew he wasn't really. 

"It must have gone out of your head while you were telling me about how Carbuncle kicked Zell's ass," he said dryly. Selphie giggled. 

"Oh yeah, that was so funny. You should have seen him...." she said thinking of how Zell had desperately tried to run away from the tiny GF. Irvine stood up, offering her his hand, and hauling her up off the bed. 

"Come on Sefie." he said as she jumped up beside him. Selphie grinned and grabbed his arm. 

"She should be in Cid's old office. I know she said she was going to help Squall sort out all the paperwork. I wonder whether those two will want to take back the old apartment? Will Squall and Rinoa have to move back into the dorms?" she asked absently. Irvine smirked. 

"They wont like that." 

"I know, their apartment is so nice, and peaceful and pretty..." she said wistfully. Irvine made a low laugh. 

"They don't care about that! All they want is their nice, soft *double* bed." he said with a smirk. Selphie punched him. 

"You are such a pervert! You know they have two bedrooms up there." she admonished him. Irvine twisted out of her grip. 

"Yeah right, you are so naive." he said condescendingly. Selphie walked off ahead in a mock huff. 

"I'm going to see Matron," she said, and stormed off, leaving Irvine laughing over her behaviour. 

*************************************************************************** 

Fujin sat beside Seifer in the infirmary. She hadn't cried over him, she never would. Seifer would hate that. She wished he would wake up soon, it had been too long without him. 

Dr Kadowaki watched Fujin as she watched over him. She wondered what bound those two together, they were so different. Fujin had always seemed lonely, spiteful even, but Seifer was in a way glorious, people obeyed him and he was a natural leader. Since the return to Garden, she had noticed a number of surprising changes, Squall accepting leadership of Garden, Fujin and Seifer treating each other as equals, Quistis...well, Quistis' change was certainly worrying. No-one knew what had gone on after the kidnapping, the SeeD's had refused to talk about anything except that Oriscala had been defeated. 

She recognised signs in Quistis that she had seen in troubled children before. Dr Kadowaki wasn't just a doctor of medicine, she was a trained counsellor as well. She had to be when she worked in a Garden full of children between the ages of five to twenty five, and most of them were orphans. But she couldn't quite believe Quistis had been through the same as some of these children. She did know, however, that Quistis hadn't been cared for as she should have been. When she first came to Balamb Garden, she was already a SeeD, and an Instructor, but before that she had been at Galbadia Garden, as a student. Like most SeeD's, Quistis was an orphan. But one of those lucky enough to be adopted. That, however, turned out to be the worst possible thing. She was abused by her new parents, and fled to Garden at the age of ten, working as hard as she could to escape her former life. 

Quistis had come to her, asking for help. She wasn't able to sleep at night, and Dr Kadowaki had given her sleeping pills, but she had also asked her what was wrong. Quistis just smiled faintly, and said it was stress. Dr Kadowaki knew her friend better than that though. She had said that, and Quistis had gone very quiet, and said that the kidnapping had affected her more than anyone thought it had. Dr Kadowaki nodded, but suspected it was more than that. She didn't press Quistis though, that would only make it worse. 

She heard a little noise coming from the sick bay, and turning saw Fujin touching Seifer's face, crying quietly. For some reason this sight filled her with dread, the stoic Fujin Athen, crying? What terrible thing could cause that? She went over to Fujin, putting her hand on the slim girl's shoulder. Fujin jerked back, as if she was unused to being touched. 

"What?" she asked hoarsely, making no attempt to hide her red rimmed eyes. Dr Kadowaki felt sympathetic. 

"Don't you want to get some rest?" she asked Fujin. The girl shook her head. 

"No. I'm fine. I'll wait for him to wake up." she said stonily. Dr Kadowaki sighed. 

"Ok. Just take care of yourself, ok? I don't have room for you in here as well," she said, turning away. Fujin looked back to Seifer, to his bruised, blood covered face and matted blonde hair. She wished fiercely she had gone to the Training Centre with him. 

*************************************************************************** 

When Rinoa turned back to the bedroom, he was gone. She sighed, and shut the balcony doors behind her. The room was dark, and so quiet. She crossed to the piano and sat down, staring at the keys. 

She felt so empty. She wished she had never told him. For an instant, Dr Kadowaki's offer came floating back to her...it's not too late... 

"No," Rinoa whispered to the darkened room. She would never kill her baby. Squall's baby. It was too late for a termination, it had been too late since the moment of conception. Idly, touching the keys of the piano, Rinoa wondered how she could have been so stupid as to let this happen. 

She pressed one key, the note so familiar. Her mothers song...the only one she could play with her eyes shut. A song which she had played millions of times, through all emotions. Rinoa played it now, softly, slowly in the silent room, the only light in her bedroom the moonlight which filtered through the gauze curtains. The tune of Eyes On Me floated through the empty apartment as Rinoa played, sounding mournful and forlorn. Rinoa shut her eyes, trying to make her mind a blank as she concentrated on the music, ignoring everything else. Eventually, her heart stopped aching, and her mind settled into a comforting state of numbness. 

*************************************************************************** 

(Note: If you have the soundtrack to FF8, listen to the track 'Julia' while reading...that is what I was thinking of when I wrote the above scene! Sorry for interrupting...) 

*************************************************************************** 

Quistis was a little surprised to see Squall there, in the secret area. She smiled slightly, remembering the last time they were there. This time though, they were alone, and Quistis guessed the students who had been there probably ran off at the sight of the Commander. 

She walked up to him, her footsteps loud enough so he could hear her. He didn't turn around, he knew the sound of her by now. Quistis felt a little guilty at how she had treated him earlier, when she had been annoyed at him even though she knew he was only trying to help her. She leant on the balcony beside him, looking out onto Balamb Garden. 

"Squall?" she whispered. He looked at her, and she was surprised at the emotion in his face. She frowned. 

"What is it?" she asked gently. Squall sighed. 

"I've...Rinoa's mad at me...I don't know what to do, this is just...too confusing," he said. Quistis bit her lip. 

"What is she mad about?" she asked him. Squall gazed into Quistis' compassionate blue eyes. 

"I left her...when she was trying to explain something to me. She needed my support, and I just left her." he said bitterly. Quistis smiled. 

"Then go back to her." she said gently. Squall shook his head. 

"It's not that easy. This situation...it's a mess." he said quietly. Quistis sighed. 

"Squall, I'm sorry for yesterday. I know you were only trying to help me, and I know you made an effort. I'm just so....confused, and hurt...I don't know what I am." she said, hugging her middle. Squall nodded. 

"I know, Quistis." he said softly. Quistis gazed back out to Garden. 

"When I was alone...I prayed that you would all come to me. When Seifer...when he was tormenting me, I still believed you would come and get me. The worst thing that happened to me when I was separated from all of you, was when Fujin told me you'd already been, and left again without me." she said with effort. Squall nodded, understanding. 

"That's why, even if you are confused, you should stick together. Go back to her, and talk about whatever it is that made you leave." she said with a little smile, rubbing his arm. Squall nodded. 

"What would I do without you," he said to his former teacher. Quistis smiled, putting her arms around his neck. 

"Friends?" she whispered. Squall smiled. 

"Friends. Always." he said quietly. 

*************************************************************************** 

Squall could hear her playing as he ascended the stairs to their room. Just as he neared the door, the music died away, and he heard her quiet crying. He shut his eyes, leaning on the door, feeling incredibly guilty. He longed to go to her, and wondered why he was being so selfish. Wasn't this something even he had seen for their future? So what if it came a little early...the child would still be his and Rinoa's. 

Squall entered the room. Rinoa was sitting by the piano, her shoulders hunched over as she cried. Sighing, he went over to her. 

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. Rinoa sat up straight, and looked at him. He felt even worse when he saw her wide, chocolate brown eyes. She looked so sad. Squall sat at the piano next to her. 

"Rinoa, I shouldn't have left...." he began, unsure of what to say. He knew how he felt, but as always, words isn't lend themselves to him easily. Rinoa nodded, unsmiling. 

"I wanted to tell you...Dr Kadowaki said I could still have an abortion." Rinoa said flatly. Squall felt a rush of anger at the thought, but managed to keep his feelings under control. 

"Do you...want an abortion?" he asked her, his voice trembling slightly. Rinoa looked at him. 

"No." she whispered. Squall looked relieved. 

"Good. Because, this is our child. I imagined we would have children some day...but not so soon. But I do want it, Rinoa," he said desperately. Rinoa felt her face crumple into tears as she was so relieved. 

"Squall..." was all she managed to say, before she began sobbing again. Squall held her tight in his arms until she was able to talk again, feeling a little like that himself. 

"I only wish...I had been able to become a SeeD before now," she said. Squall shook his head. 

"You can still become a SeeD. You aren't more than a month pregnant, so you can train for three months before a SeeD exam becomes invalid." he said. Rinoa laughed. 

"No way. I'm not going to do anything which would endanger this baby." she said with a smile. 

*************************************************************************** 

Seifer didn't know where he was at first, and then it dawned on him. He was back in the orphanage. 

He looked around, but none of his friends were anywhere to be seen. No Fujin, no Raijin, not even Squall and his friends. Seifer was all alone. Then he heard a laugh. Involuntarily, Seifer moved towards it. It was then he realised he had no control over his actions. Seifer suddenly realised he was a four year old again, and he was alone in the orphanage, because the others were out on a day trip with Edea to the nearby Centra Ruins, and he was in trouble and banned from the trip. 

He heard a familiar male voice. Peeking round the corner of the door, he saw Cid talking with another man, a tall man dressed almost entirely in black. They seemed to be arguing. Then the tall man handed Cid some money, and Cid got even angrier. Seifer tried to hide as much as he could, while watching the heated conversation. Cid suddenly stopped shouting when the other man muttered one word, 'Edea.' Seifer didn't know then that was Matron's name, that wasn't the kind of thing which occurred to a four year old. 

Then suddenly, the men began to walk towards the bedroom, where Seifer was hiding, panicked, he ducked under a table, trying his best to look inconspicuous. It didn't work. The tall man roughly hauled Seifer out from under the table, presenting him angrily to Cid. The other man regarded Seifer coldly, and Seifer thought he saw a hint of fear in the future Headmaster's eyes. Then he felt a sharp blow to his head, and remembered nothing more. 

*************************************************************************** 

Cid looked around his old office, pleased to be back there. Sure, any amount of time spent with Edea was wonderful, but Balamb Garden was his home, as much as the orphanage was hers. Cid knew Squall had done a wonderful job in his absence, but knew well that leaving an eighteen year old in charge wasn't exactly a responsible thing to do. Squall had his own life to lead, and needed time to concentrate on his other SeeD duties. 

Unlike Edea, Cid had never spent much time in the orphanage with the children. He was too busy running around, trying to get funds for their dream, Garden. Then all the children had been 'transferred' to the military academy, and Cid had seen them even less. Edea had stayed there for a short while, but she had other things to do. As the children got older, she refused to see them, as it would ruin their education, to love a Sorceress who they might one day have to defeat. That was the downfall of their plans, Edea's sorcery. 

*************************************************************************** 

Dr Kadowaki was very worried. Students seemed to be succumbing to this illness, and she didn't know what it was. Already, she had treated Selphie, Zell and Squall for their sickness, but there was one student whom they weren't friends with, who seemed even worse. 

"Kiera, how are you feeling?" Dr Kadowaki asked quietly stepping into the sick bay. Kiera looked up, her face pale and gaunt. Dr Kadowaki was disturbed to see how much the girl had deteriorated. 

"Fine," Kiera lied. Dr Kadowaki laughed softly. She went over to the bedside, replacing the jug of water on the side with a fresh one. 

"Do you know Selphie Tilmitt? Or Zell Dincht?" Dr Kadowaki asked. Kiera shook her head. 

"I only...just transferred...here," she said with difficulty. Dr Kadowaki nodded. So this was spreading. 

"Were you sick in the night?" she asked. Kiera shook her head. Dr Kadowaki sighed. 

"I'm going to transfer you to the hospital in Balamb. I don't know what is causing this," she said reluctantly. Kiera laid her head back amongst the pillows, too tired to object. 

"Fine," she whispered, shutting her eyes. Dr Kadowaki smiled wistfully at the sleeping girl. She was very worried, if the Commander was suffering from the same illness, which Kiera claimed to have had or weeks before it got severe, then maybe she should keep an eye on him. They certainly shared the same symptoms. 

Dr Kadowaki left the room to collect some pill bottles from the other bedsides. She froze as she heard a terrible retching noise. Rushing back into Kiera's room, she was horrified to see the girl covered in blood and vomit, clutching her stomach. She was still, and her skin was slowly taking on a grey tone. She was dead. 

*************************************************************************** 

"So this is a good thing," Rinoa said slowly, looking at herself in the full-length mirror. Squall was sitting up on the bed, watching her with a smile. 

"Yes, this is a good thing. Just an unfortunately timed thing." he said with a trace of bitterness, which Rinoa didn't pick up on. She turned to him with a smile. 

"Take one last look at my waist then," she said mournfully. Squall laughed. 

"I'm going to be waddling around for the next few months, you'll be ashamed of me," she said with a sigh. Squall laughed even more. 

"Rinoa, I couldn't ever be ashamed of you." he said softly. She smiled, smoothing her hands over her flat stomach, wondering how long it would be before she would feel her baby kick. Squall watched her, also lost in thought. Neither of them had dared to think of the reaction from their superiors yet. Not that there was anyone really above Squall now, but the Garden Masters would be sure to stick their oar in, and maybe Cid would have a thing or two to say about it. 

"Squall...Dr Kadowaki said something about me being a Sorceress might effect my pregnancy." Rinoa said, gazing at him. Squall looked concerned. 

"Maybe you should speak to Edea about it then." he advised. Rinoa smiled. 

"That's what she said. I will...later," she said. Then she looked annoyed. 

"Are you planning on getting dressed or are you just going to lie there all day?" she said in mock irritation. Squall smiled and shut his eyes. 

"Are you going to join me?" he asked wickedly. She laughed. 

"No. Unlike you, I have classes I want to attend." she said, picking up her pinwheel as she prepared to leave. Squall sighed. 

"Guess I'd better go to class then," he said tiredly. 

*************************************************************************** 

Seifer opened his eyes, and saw white all around. The first thing he felt was someone holding his hand, and he wondered who it was. An attempt to move his head resulted in him seeing sparks in an explosion of pain. He then felt a dull ache in his chest and arm, and looking down as much as he could, saw white bandages bound around him tightly. Then there was a movement, and a cry of relief. 

"Seifer? You're ok?" he heard a female voice exclaim. He recognised it as Fujin's, and his heart leapt. 

"Seifer...don't talk, okay? Just stay still, I wont go anywhere," she said, her voice trembling. He heard her call for a doctor, and he wondered if he was in hospital. 

"Fujin...where am I? What happened?" he asked. His mouth felt dry, and his lips were cracked. Fujin touched his hand, and her was surprised at the gesture. Although he knew Fujin cared for him, she was never tender or affectionate. 

"The infirmary. You were KO'd in the training centre. I found you...after it happened. You were a mess Seifer, Your gunblade..." she trailed off, lost in the horrific memory. Seifer grimaced as he remembered the feeling of his weapon being driven through his own flesh. 

"I know, Fujin." he said softly. Fujin looked around, irritated that Dr Kadowaki hadn't attended to Seifer yet. Seifer smiled at her. 

"Fujin, I'm sorry," he whispered. She looked concerned. 

"Why?" she asked tentatively. Seifer almost laughed. 

"For all the shit I put you through. What I'm still putting you through. You're best friends with Quistis, because you understand her pain, but I'm the one who gave her that pain." he said flatly. Fujin looked down. 

"Seifer, you've changed since then. Stop blaming yourself. It was your fault, but it's over. You've atoned. Just...let it go." she pleaded with him. Seifer shook his head, cursing at the pain the movement caused. 

"Quistis can't. Until she is happy again, I wont be able to forgive myself." he said. Fujin sighed. 

"Then you'll have a long wait." she said honestly. 

*************************************************************************** 

Squall dreamt of his childhood that night. 

He was playing on the beach, alone as usual, as he had just finished arguing with Quistis over something, he didn't remember what. He was finding shells, and stacking them up and up into a tower. He was intent on his task, concentration on his child-like face, which was sweet before his features became longer and thinner. His big stone-coloured eyes, framed by sweeping dark lashes, were seeking out the tiniest shells to complete his sculpture. 

Then he was disturbed by someone kicking over the tower of shells while his back was turned to pick up a stone. Looking on in annoyance, he saw a tall dark man staring down at him. Squall looked up, but as the bright coastal sun was in full force he was unable to see the man's face. Suddenly he felt afraid, and began to turn to run back to the stone cottage, back to Matron, but he didn't get far before he was scooped up off his feet by the tall man. Squall, always different to the other children, didn't scream or cry out for help, but attacked, trying his hardest to squirm out of his grasp, while kicking. But nothing worked, and a cloth was pressed over the three year old's mouth, until he fell into an ether-induced slumber. 

Squall didn't remember anymore. 

Rinoa woke up as Squall moaned in his sleep. Always a light sleeper, she woke to the smallest noises. Propping herself up on her elbows, she looked down at him as he slept. His face was troubled, and although he wasn't making any noise, she knew he wasn't sleeping easily. Sighing, she lay back down, hoping he wasn't getting sick again 

*************************************************************************** 

Cid looked concerned as Dr Kadowaki finished her report. The girl from Trabia Garden who died, Kiera Lahn, had shown the same symptoms as Selphie, Zell and Squall. Dr Kadowaki had also informed him that Seifer was ill too, although there was really nothing that was right with him now, as almost every bone in his body seemed to be broken. Dr Kadowaki left the office, and Cid was left alone to think. 

He pulled out Kiera's file. She had gone to Trabia Garden at the age of six. Her parents were living in Trabia, not far from the Garden. Not surprisingly, Kiera had been adopted. But from where was what Cid sit up straight. 

"Kramer's Orphanage on Centra," he read in astonishment. Hurriedly, he pulled out the sheet of yellowed paper from the Orphanage, and recognised his wife's handwriting immediately, giving details of when the child was left there, who her natural parents were and when she had left the orphanage. Kiera had been at the orphanage since she was eighteen months old, her parents killed in the Sorceress War. She left when she was three, adopted by a couple in Trabia. That was 14 years ago, which would make her seventeen now. 

"Damn him," whispered Cid, feeling a wave of dread come over him. 

*************************************************************************** 

Selphie was huddled up in bed. She was freezing cold, and Seifer had stolen her blanket, so she was forced to sleep in between Quistis and Ellone for warmth. Everyone else in the orphanage was asleep, except her. She was too cold to sleep. Giving up, she sat up and walked over to the window. Her big green eyes shone in the moonlight as the little girl looked out to the beach where the next morning she would play happily as always. Her hair was in two stubby plaits which stuck out on either side of her head, and one of these she twirled absently as she counted the stars. 

Then Selphie heard a sound. She was frozen in fear. If it was Matron, then she would be scolded for being out of bed, but at least she would get her blanket back from Seifer. Selphie kept her eyes on the door, waiting for the slim figure of Matron to enter. It never came. Instead, Selphie began to tremble in fear as a tall dark man entered the room. The three year old's eyes went wide with shock and terror as he advanced towards her. Selphie let out a little whimper, but was unable to move as he got close, then, mercifully, she fainted, the nightmare too much for her nerves. 

*************************************************************************** 

Squall went to see Cid later that morning, with Rinoa. The headmaster had settled into his usual flustered attitude, and it was strange to see him rushing around, doing all the things Squall had done, but with ten times the amount of stress. Rinoa smiled nervously as they entered the office, which had gone from neat and organized to messy and paper strewn in a matter of days. Cid welcomed them with a smile and gestured for them to sit in the chairs in front of his desk. 

"What can I do for you? Do you want your old job back? Miss all the stress already?" he asked Squall with a smile. The younger man smiled. 

"No, thanks." he said. Cid smiled at Rinoa. 

"You look well, both of you. Dr Kadowaki came to see me yesterday, with some bad news," he said, looking down at his desk. Rinoa drew in a sharp breath, wondering if she had told Cid already. 

"A student died yesterday," Cid said sadly. Rinoa looked horrified. 

"How awful, what happened?" she asked. Cid shook his head. 

"They had been ill for a while, and the sickness just...." he trailed off, looking at Squall. 

"She said some of your friends had been sick too recently. How are they now?" Cid asked. Squall looked worried. 

"As far as I know, they're better....but I'll go check on them later, and tell them what's happened." Squall said. Cid nodded in agreement. 

"Good. Tell them to take special care of themselves." he said. He sighed. "Now what was it you wanted to see me about?" he asked. Squall glanced at Rinoa. 

"We are...expecting a baby," Squall said with difficulty. Cid's eyes widened, and he didn't say anything for a few seconds. 

"Well, that's...unexpected." he said at length. Rinoa smiled tightly. 

"I only found out yesterday. Dr Kadowaki made me do a test, and it came back positive. We've thought about this, and we're going to keep it." Rinoa said. Cid nodded. 

"Are you still planning on becoming a SeeD?" he asked evenly. Rinoa bit her lip. 

"I can't now, can I?" she said sadly. Cid smiled. 

"Of course you can. In a couple of years, you can start training again for the exam. Until then, you can still attend lessons." he said. Squall looked surprised. 

"Can we still stay at Garden? After the baby is born?" he asked. Cid laughed. 

"Squall, you have saved Garden so many times, taken command, and defeated two of the most dangerous Sorceress' in our time. I think we are indebted to you." he said. Squall looked relieved. Cid continued. 

"We'll arrange childcare after the baby is born, in return for one thing." he said. Squall stared at him. 

"What?" he asked. Cid smiled. 

"When you finish your studies, become Commander of Garden again." he asked. Squall smiled. 

"Of course," he said quietly. 

**_*************************************************************************** _**

Quistis walked along the corridor, her boots sounding loud in the silence of the Garden at night. She carried a basket of flowers, and this she clutched nervously as she neared the infirmary. She walked past the member of faculty guarding the infirmary, and entered the doors. It was empty, except for a nurse who was writing in the office. She recognised Quistis and smiled at her, before looking down at her work again. Quistis entered one of the side rooms, and stood in the doorway looking at the sleeping figure. 

Seifer wasn't aware of her presence. Fujin had left ages ago, and he was trying to sleep. He noticed a movement as Quistis put the flowers above his bed on the windowsill, and sat beside him silently, nervously. He couldn't believe his eyes. Not wishing to ruin this delicate situation, Seifer made no comment, just looked at her through half shut eyes. Quistis looked highly tense, and was avoiding looking at him. Eventually, she took a deep breath. 

"Seifer..." she said with difficulty. He didn't speak, but watched as she shook, her breathing quicker. 

"I....I can't bear this any more," she said quietly. Seifer felt terrible. Quistis sighed. 

"I forgive you, I know you've changed, but I can't stop feeling, terrified whenever I think of you." she said in a low voice. Seifer raised a hand, and she jerked back, but didn't leave. 

"Quistis....I'm sorry," he said, feeling a lump in his throat. Quistis felt tears stinging her eyes. 

"Please, tell me, why did you do it?" she asked, her voice trembling from tears. Seifer gazed at her. 

"Because...I wanted to show you how powerless you were, I don't know...I was sick, Quistis, I regret it so much," he said weakly. She nodded. 

"I know. Seifer, I want to....get over this. But I can't, not until I know you realise what you did," she said hardly. Seifer looked at her sadly. 

"Quistis....I know what I did was terrible. I've felt so guilty." he said. She sighed. 

"Seifer, This is a big step for me. I have to go," she said standing up. Seifer watched as she quickly walked out of the room, before he could call her back. 

*************************************************************************** 

Instead of being shocked, Edea smiled when Rinoa told her the situation. Squall was still discussing things with Cid, and Rinoa had left to find Matron. She and Edea sat down in the Quad, which was quiet as it was mid morning, and most of the students were in lessons. 

"Complications? I don't think so. Not physically, anyway. Your child, if it is a girl, will most likely be a Sorceress also. Sometimes Sorceress' are born, instead of being successors. But it is rare for a Sorceress actually to have a child, especially a strong one like you." she said softly. Rinoa nodded. 

"And if it is a boy?" Rinoa asked. Edea smiled. 

"Then he will probably be strong and intelligent. Like his parents. But he wont have magic. No males ever have natural magic." she said. Rinoa smiled. 

"This wasn't planned," she said, a little embarrassed. Edea smiled knowingly. 

"Rinoa, I was eighteen once. I know common sense goes out of your head when you are in love. You're lucky Squall is so responsible, and so obviously infatuated with you." she said with a little laugh. Rinoa smiled. 

"I guess. Tell me, what was Squall like as a child? He never talks about his past much," she said, curious. Edea shut her eyes, remembering the pain she felt when Ellone had come. 

"Squall...he was a very loving child. Before Ellone came, he was sweet, kind, and so adorable." she said, smiling slightly. Rinoa grinned. 

"Squall? Sweet and adorable...not words I would usually associate with him." she said with a wry smile. Edea laughed. 

"He was, really. He was so cute. His hair was longer than it is now, and he had little round rosy cheeks! When he was a toddler, he was always giggling and trying to make me laugh." she said wistfully. Rinoa burst out laughing. 

"Oh, how cute. I can just imagine him..." she said smiling. Edea sighed. 

"He was a wonderful child. I had him since he was a tiny baby, only a few days old. I really....loved him. He was the youngest child I ever took care of. It hurt every time he was passed over for adoption, but I was secretly relieved he was going to stay with me for longer. When Ellone came, he wasn't mine any more. He didn't come running to me when he was upset anymore, and he fell out with his best friend. It was sad, to see him change so much. But that was nothing compared to the change that came over him once she left," Edea said. Rinoa looked serious. 

"Who was his best friend?" she asked curiously. Edea smiled. 

"Seifer. I know, hard to believe. Seifer and Squall were so close...almost like brothers. When Ellone came, Squall wouldn't play with Seifer anymore, and the two became enemies. Seifer was hurt at the rejection, and Squall was too obsessed with Ellone to see how hurt his best friend was. As they grew older, I guess it was natural they became rivals. Seifer always wanted to pay Squall back for hurting him." she said with a sigh. Rinoa shook her head sadly. 

"What a shame. They were so bitter when I first met them, Seifer and Squall would easily have killed each other without a second though. Well, maybe Squall would have second thoughts, but Seifer was intent on hurting him. It was sad, because I used to love Seifer, and I was just beginning to fall in love with Squall then," she said, trailing off, thinking over what Edea said. 

"I wonder if either of them remember?" Edea said, hoping Rinoa knew. She shook her head. 

"I don't think so. Should I mention it? Or is it better for him to remember by himself?" she asked. Edea nodded. 

"Far better. You can't force memories on someone, otherwise the feelings which go with them will never come back." she said wisely. Rinoa nodded. She knew how upset Selphie had been when she hadn't been able to remember several events Irvine had told her about. She didn't want the same to happen to Squall, especially since he was so close to getting his best friend back. 

*************************************************************************** 

"Selphie, where are you going?" Rinoa asked with a smile as she saw Selphie dressed in a lovely pink satin minidress. Selphie twirled around at the noise, and smile at Rinoa. 

"Irvine's taking me out!" she said with an excited smile. Rinoa grinned. 

"Are you going to wear those boots?" she asked. Contrasting with the delicate pink dress was Selphie's clunky brown boots. The girl removed them, blushing, and dived down on her knee's, searching through her cupboard for another pair of shoes. 

"Damn! I never though of that..." she said in annoyance. Rinoa laughed. 

"What size shoe are you?" she asked. Selphie mumbled the answer and Rinoa helped her to her feet. 

"So am I. You can borrow my shoes. They'd go perfectly with that outfit," Rinoa said, thinking of the white ballet shoes she had worn to the graduation dance. Selphie clapped her hands in delight. 

"Really? They are so beautiful...but I know I'd get them dirty, or break a strap or something," she said glumly. Rinoa laughed. 

"No, you wouldn't. They survived a dance with Squall, so they'll survive a date with Irvine. I know for a fact he is a perfect dancer." she said lightly. Selphie smiled. 

"Thankyou. You can borrow any of my clothes you like," she said graciously. Rinoa laughed. 

"Great." she laughed. Then she remembered the reason she was there. 

"Selph...I need to talk to you about something." she said with a sigh. Selphie looked serious. 

"What is it?" she asked. Rinoa took a deep breath, and smiled. 

"I...Squall and I..." she began. Selphie grinned. 

"Are you getting married? Can I be bridesmaid?!" she asked excitedly. Rinoa laughed and shook her head. She looked down at Selphie's bed, covered in the thin grey wool blanket like all the other SeeD beds. 

"I'm pregnant." she said with a sigh. Selphie clapped her hands to her mouth and squealed in excitement. 

"Oh! Can I be godmother?" she asked, ecstatic. Rinoa laughed as Selphie threw her arms around Rinoa's neck, hugging her tightly. Rinoa smiled as Selphie got up off the bed and jumped up and down. 

"I can't believe this! Whoo hoo! You're gonna be a mommy! And Squall...." she gasped. 

"Squall is gonna have to try and remain cool and detached while chasing after a little toddler! Can you imagine! He'll be all like 'whatever' and this little kid will be chasing round in circles!" she said happily, an image of Squall losing it in her head. Rinoa laughed at the thought. 

"Yeah...that'd be funny. I think he'll make a good father." she said with a little smile. Selphie's face dropped. 

"Of course, you've made a fool out of me." she said in mock irritation. Rinoa looked surprised. 

"Why?" she asked. Selphie grinned. 

"Because Irvine was trying to convince me that you two really were sleeping together, and I didn't believe him...but now we have irrefutable evidence." she said with a smile. Rinoa blushed. 

"Sorry," she said, uncomfortable to think her friends discussed her like this behind her back. Selphie seemed to know what she was thinking. 

"Rinoa, really, we don't gossip about you and Squall. We're your friends..." she said in a sing song voice. Rinoa smiled. 

"I know. Let's go tell Quistis and Fujin!" she said. Selphie grinned, and the two went off happily to break the news. 

*************************************************************************** 

Irvine and Zell burst out laughing. Squall felt slightly indignant at this, and felt tempted to remind them he was their superior, but didn't, because he knew they would only laugh more. Irvine, almost weeping with laughter, slapped Squall hard on the back in congratulations. 

"That didn't take long!" he yelled in laughter. Squall scowled at him. 

"Will you keep your voice down! I don't want the whole of Garden knowing!" he hissed angrily, regretting that he had told them in the middle of the cafeteria. Zell was doubled up with laughter, and too out of breath to comment. For that Squall was grateful, he wasn't the most tactful person in the world, and had the biggest mouth out of all of his friends. 

"Just keep it down, alright? I don't know who Rinoa has told yet," he said. Irvine smirked and nodded. Zell, recovering, banged his fist on the table. 

"This is great, Squall...what a good example you are setting to the rest of us. Marry a Sorceress, and get her pregnant as soon as you get given a position of responsibility. I must say, well done," he said with a laugh. This set Irvine off again and Squall felt exasperated. 

"I wouldn't have told you if I'd known you were going to react like this! It was an accident, and Rinoa and I are not getting married!" he said, giving Zell a threatening look. 

"I'm just kidding, Squall, lighten up." he said jokingly. Squall sighed. He knew this was going to be all round Garden by tomorrow morning. 

*************************************************************************** 

After their date in Trabia, Selphie felt great as she and Irvine sat on the beach outside Balamb Town, in the moonlight. It was deserted, and the only sounds were the quiet crashing of the waves and the distant noise of the town. Selphie was almost trembling with excitement as she and Irvine sat side by side on the sand, protected from view of either Garden or the far away town by a sand bank which they had their backs against. Rinoa's shoes were placed carefully on a rock, so the salt in the sand wouldn't ruin the delicate white satin, and both of them were barefoot as they watched the waves. Selphie leant against Irvine, her head on his shoulder. 

"This is so nice," she said quietly. Irvine, felt strangely uncomfortable. Although he acted like an experienced flirt, he didn't quite know where this situation was going. 

"Yeah..." he said dumbly. Selphie didn't seem to notice his lack of eloquence. She snuggled closer to him, and Irvine felt a blush coming over his face. 

"Um...we're breaking curfew," he mumbled. Selphie laughed softly. 

"How many times must I remind you, we're best friends with the Commander. How can we get disciplined?" she said. He laughed nervously. 

"I guess so." he said with a smile, relaxing a little. Selphie looked up at him, her emerald eyes shimmering in the moonlight. 

"Irvine?" she said softly. He looked down at her, thinking how pretty she looked as she clung to him. 

"What?" he asked with a warm smile. She sighed. 

"I was wondering, would you...ahhh!" she cried out in pain, clutching her head. Irvine was about to ask her what was wrong when he felt a stab of pain in his own skull, causing him to shut his eyes in agony. Unable to move, he opened his eyes to see Selphie lying unconscious on the sand in front of him. Before he could react, he felt a blackness creeping over him, while his head throbbed mercilessly. 

*************************************************************************** 

Rinoa went to see Seifer in the infirmary, where he was still held. She smiled at him as she entered the room, noting the flowers on the sill. 

"How are you?" she asked softly. Seifer grinned at her. 

"Great. Can't wait to be back on the battlefield." he said. Rinoa touched the flowers. 

"Who are these from? Fujin?" she asked, admiring the pretty blossoms. Seifer smiled wryly. 

"Quistis." he said. Rinoa didn't look at him. 

"Seriously." she said, looking down at him. Seifer smiled. 

"It's true. She came to see me. We talked...a little." he said. Rinoa smiled. 

"That's great." she said softly. Seifer frowned. 

"Why do you look so worried?" he asked her. Rinoa laughed quietly. 

"You know me too well." she said, touching his hand, staring at the thick silver ring he always wore, not unlike Squall's. 

"Apart from your injuries, have you been sick?" she asked him. Seifer frowned. 

"Yeah...I think I've had a stomach bug or something. Dr Kadowaki said it's going around." he said nonchalantly. Rinoa frowned. 

"Yes...we've all been ill. I wonder what's causing it? It seems serious..." she said, slightly worried. Seifer grinned. 

"After all we've been through, and you're worried about a little virus? Rinoa, that's not like you." he said. Rinoa smiled faintly. 

"I've got more important things to worry about actually." she said. Seifer looked interested. 

"Like what?" he asked. Rinoa smiled, a secret smile to herself. 

"Promise you wont tell anyone outside our group?" she asked, her black eyes sparkling. Seifer nodded. Rinoa pressed her lips together. 

"I'm having a baby." she whispered excitedly. Seifer couldn't contain his surprise. 

"What?! Is it Squall's?" he exclaimed. Rinoa shushed him rapidly. 

"Shut up! And yes, it is my *boyfriend's*.It's meant to be a secret," she said quietly. Seifer began to laugh softly. 

"I knew you and Squall were up to no good," he said in a low voice. Rinoa blushed. 

"Shut up," she said, but without feeling. Seifer patted her hand. 

"I'm pleased for you. Really. Congratulations." he said with a genuine smile. Rinoa grinned back. 

*************************************************************************** 

Irvine could hear a little girl crying. He peeked around the door, and could see someone standing over a little sobbing girl, of about two or three years old, and shouting at the little girl to shut up. Irvine didn't know what was happening, but his hands were tied behind his back, and his legs tied at the knees. Suddenly, he knew who the little crying girl was. Those two stubby plaits... 

"Sefie!" he cried, struggling to reach her. The tall dark man standing over Selphie turned, and although Irvine couldn't see his face he knew it was full of malice. He stood over Irvine, looking down condescendingly at the child below him. Little Irvine struggled to get to Selphie, who was wailing piteously, rubbing her huge green eyes. But then Irvine was kicked hard in the stomach, and the pain made him double over. 

"Irvy!" Selphie screamed, struggling to her feet. Irvine, even though he wasn't moving, was kicked again, hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Selphie began to shriek with rage, and out of the corner of his streaming eyes Irvine could see her banging her fists on the tall man. The toddler's blows did nothing to help Irvine though, as the man laughed at her futile attempts, and kicked Irvine once more. This time, Irvine blacked out as the man's foot connected with his skull. 

Selphie screamed again as Irvine slumped unconscious, the little girl so terrified she became incontinent with fear, and her knees buckled underneath her. The man knelt beside Selphie, and she was frozen in terror, having a kind of premonition of the evil this man meant to cause her. She watched as he picked up Irvine's body, throwing him carelessly onto a pile of rugs. He then pulled out a syringe, and injected a dark liquid into Irvine's thigh. Selphie whimpered in fear, and the man turned back to her, an evil smile on his face. 

"You're next," he hissed in her ear. Selphie fainted in sheer terror. 

*************************************************************************** 

Squall dreamt of the orphanage also that night. His dream though, was strangely nostalgic. He was on the beach, but this time he wasn't alone. With him was a friend, a close friend he knew. They were playing Triple Triad together, and although he couldn't see who this person was, he knew that whoever it was cared a lot about him. 

"Squall? Wanna go play with Quisty?" the other boy asked. Squall nodded and smiled, and carelessly gathering up their cards, they ran along the beach together until they saw the little girl with the golden hair. 

"Quisty!" Squall shouted to her, grinning as she turned around. Quistis beamed at the two, clearing away the picture books she was looking at so the two boys could sit down. Squall didn't budge as Quistis wiped a smudge away from his cheek with the hem of the blouse she was wearing, in fact he smiled at her. Quistis handed him a book. 

"You wanna read, Squall?" she asked him. Squall looked embarrassed. 

"I can't read yet." he confessed to the older child. Quistis smiled benevolently at him. 

"I'll read to you," she said, taking the book off him and opening it on her lap so he could see the pictures. Squall moved closer to Quistis, Their sides touching as they stared down at the picture book. Then a lump of wet sand landed on the glossy page, obscuring the words. Quistis looked up angrily, and Squall looked up with a mischievous smile. 

"Seifer!" she said angrily. 

The adult Squall sat up straight in bed, realization hitting him like a sledgehammer. So Seifer had been his best friend, how could he have forgotten? Damn....the GF's, of course. Although he thought it was strange that such a vital piece of information had gone missing. What had happened between him and Seifer to make them hate each other as they matured? To make such bitter rivals out of them? Squall still remembered the day when, as ten year olds, they had been given the opportunity to chose which weapon they were to specialize in. Squall had chosen the gunblade, Seifer nunchaku. But when Seifer realized this would no longer allow him to try and kick Squall's ass. So he had switched, at the last minute, to the gunblade, a cruder, more old fashioned type than what Squall used. It was the same Hyperion Seifer had chosen then which gave Squall the scar he still sported to this day. 

Squall glanced to his side, to where Rinoa slept peacefully, a slight smile on her face. He wondered what she was dreaming of. Sighing, he got up and walked to the balcony, shutting the doors behind him so that the cold night air would not disturb Rinoa. He gazed up into the deep purple sky, to the stars strewn like pieces of glitter on a child's painting. He searched for a shooting star, a reminder of fate, but saw none. Perhaps, he thought with a wry smile, this revelation didn't warrant a gift from Hyne to mark it's occasion. Not like when he had first seen Rinoa, or the first time his heart truly burned for her. Then the shooting stars came out, comets leapt towards them, longing to share in what they had. 

He smiled as he thought how many stars would attempt to become mortal the day their child was born. Surely that would be a momentous occasion, the baby born of a dark knight and an ethereal angel. It would certainly be a day he would never forget. Squall smiled slightly as he looked out into the ocean, hearing the faraway sounds of busy Balamb Town at night. Inevitably, because the town was near a Garden, many nightclubs and discos had popped up around the town attempting to attract the youngsters. Even though there was a curfew imposed on cadets, the new Garden Masters turned a blind eye when students snuck in late, especially the older SeeD's, who really couldn't be expected to survive in the concentrated atmosphere of Garden all the time. 

Squall sighed, leaning on the stone railing of the balcony. He shivered slightly, but didn't want to go inside, as the bedroom was too quiet, he wanted a quiet background noise so he could think about Seifer. He couldn't get over the shock of the sudden feelings he had experienced for the other man, the love and intense friendship they had. Most of all, he couldn't believe this was something he had forgotten. Seifer obviously had forgotten too, otherwise, why had they been rivals for so long? They were almost friends now, even though part of him wanted to kill Seifer for what he had done to Quistis. 

Squall himself had mixed feelings over Quistis. When he talked to Rinoa, she had said it was like going to sleep when she was possessed, and she had no control over her body at all. Quistis certainly hadn't, but Squall still couldn't get the image out of his head, of when Quistis had forced him to kill his own father. Before he could even explain to Squall why he had left him for seventeen years, and why he had only rescued Ellone. That stung, even now, when Squall thought about it. 

Although emotionally, he wasn't attached to Laguna at all, or he tried not to be, he still couldn't shake off the feeling of inferiority Ellone made him experience every time he saw her. She was the one Laguna had chosen, she was the one he had loved and chosen to protect, not Squall. His own son, he had preferred to abandon in an orphanage, and even after he had found Ellone, he had remained in Esthar, letting Squall grow up in a military academy not knowing anything about his own parents. Squall didn't understand why. Neither did he understand why Ellone didn't come for him, if she really had loved him as much as he loved her. Maybe that was what Laguna was going to explain to him, but never got the chance. 

Squall knew it wasn't Quistis' fault, that she had been under the control of Oriscala. But whenever he looked into her ice blue eyes, saw her walking, caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Sorceress. And he couldn't help but feel the familiar rage, frustration and complete anger at what she had made him do. One of his best friends...had made him murder his father, and laughed as he pulled the trigger. That laugh, Quistis' laugh, sent a shiver down his spine. 

Squall was about to turn to go back inside, but something on the beach outside caught his eye. Narrowing his eyes in an attempt to see clearer, he saw something abnormal on the sand. Suddenly realising what it was, he dashed inside, his heart racing. 

*************************************************************************** 

Quistis watched him sleep from afar. The space between them seemed so much, even though it was only a few feet. She had come a long way, and it was a big step for her even to look at him without every nerve in her body screaming for her to run far away. She still felt a little scared in his presence, but she told herself logically she was far his better in any battle. With the comforting weight of her whip curled in a slant around her waist, she stepped into the room silently, not even her heels making a noise on the floor. She sat beside him. 

Sometimes, she saw a resemblance to Squall in him. Apart from the identical scars, the two men had the same look of determination, of a reluctant acceptance of destiny on their faces. Both had the same elegant nose, but that is where the physical resemblance ended. Seifer had short, blonde eyelashes, whilst Squall's were dark and sweeping, almost feminine. She knew this from her endless studying of him when he had been in her class. Also, Seifer had slightly more rugged features, and looked more...masculine than Squall. 

Not that Squall was effeminate, but his features were more refined, high cheekbones, and a heart-shaped face. Something else that the two shared was piercing eyes...Seifer's were a startling deep blue, bordering on violet. Squall's eyes, although lighter and colder than Seifer's, had the same quality of being able to spear right through you. Those eyes were ones which had once captivated her dreams, ones she had longed to have on her and to be able to gaze into for hours. 

She liked to think she had got over that now, but sometimes she still felt a pang of jealousy when she saw him and Rinoa having one of their 'silent conversations' which made her want to scream that she knew him first, she was the one who had tried her hardest to crack the shell which was Squall Leonhart and it was her, Quistis, a mere mortal in the shadow of a white Sorceress, who deserved his heart. 

But Squall had never wanted her. She knew she had his love now, as a friend. Some people might be forgiven for thinking because of his cold attitude, Squall didn't have a lot of love to give. He did have enough, barely, but it was an effort for him to show it. Which in a way made it all the more precious, because it was revealed so rarely. Quistis remembered the warm feeling which came over her when he had tenderly touched her arm, and told her he was glad to have her back, while smiling almost nervously at her. She had nearly burst into tears. Tenderness, from the marble sculpture which was Squall Leonhart was something no-one outside his close circle of friends had ever seen. 

Quistis let a wistful sigh escape her lips, and then drew in a sharp breath. She didn't want to wake Seifer, who slept peacefully next to her. She let a trace of a smile grace her lips as she saw him smirk in his sleep, and knew he was probably dreaming of his days as a member of the disciplinary committee. Those days...when she was a respected Instructor, with a loyal entourage of fans who adored her, male and female alike. But Quistis, never into cradle snatching, had her eyes on one pupil in particular. She knew what she had wanted was impossible, as he was her student, and even though the age gap between them had been only a few months, but she couldn't help herself being infatuated with him. 

A blush rose to her cheeks as she thought of when she had tried to explain this to Squall, how he had coldly brushed her off. He had been sensible, and not blinded by infatuation as she was. He had said, with the cold, clear light of logic that she was his teacher, he was his student, and she was very, very wrong to suggest such a thing could happen between them. He didn't want it anyway, it had taken all his self control not to simply walk away from her when she had begun her speech, hoping for a shred of understanding at least from him. He had put her down in the bluntest way possible, leaving her staring after him as he stalked away through the training centre. Already shattered by her sudden dismissal from the instructors position, and her demotion to a regular SeeD, she was further hurt by this blow. Like Squall, Quistis found it hard to express her feelings, preferring to hide behind her professional mask, and as a child, she hid behind her precociousness. But hers was not as extreme as his, and she often longed to share her feelings with someone. It had taken a lot of courage for her to open up to him, and the icy reception she met was like a slap in the face. 

Things were different now, she thought, staring absently at Seifer. He was her friend, a close friend. Now, he cared about her, although not like she had once dreamed of. Quistis stood up, no longer needing to stay with Seifer. She now realized he was not a threat to her. 

Smiling slightly, she touched the scar on his forehead with her fingertips, the mark Squall had forever engraved on his rival's features. She had finally made her peace with Seifer. 

*************************************************************************** 

"What is it Selphie? Why are you crying?" asked Edea, stooping down to stroke the little girl's hair. Selphie rubbed her eyes with both hands, her stubby little plaits bobbing up and down. When she looked up at her foster mother, her vibrant green eyes were misted with tears. 

"Selphie, honey, tell me what's wrong. Has someone been picking on you? Was it Seifer and Squall again?" she asked, glancing around for the two boys, but they were nowhere to be seen. Selphie was completely alone. Selphie looked down at the stone floor of the cottage, and Edea felt the tiny girl trembling. 

"Selphie, what is it?" she asked again, patiently. Selphie made no reply, but gazed back at Edea, her green eyes piercing. Edea felt strangely uncomfortable, the way Selphie was looking at her was not the usual happy gaze of the three year old. Edea stood, looking down at her smallest child. 

"I wanna go play." Selphie whispered. Edea nodded, and stepped aside so Selphie could go out. The little girl ran to the door, and with one last glance, ran lightly down the stone steps onto the beach where the other children were playing. 

Edea wondered what the hell was going on. 

*************************************************************************** 

Selphie felt a dampness on her legs, and opening her eyes, saw blackness everywhere. In a panic, she sat up quickly, shaking her hair out of her eyes. 

"Irvine?!" she called in a stressed voice. There was no reply, and as the moon came out from behind a cloud, and Selphie's eyes began to adjust to the darkness, she was able to see that she was still on Balamb beach, and because the tide was coming in, her legs had been wetted by the waves. Feeling sick and dizzy, Selphie tried to get to her feet, but immediately fell back down in the sand again, her legs trembling. She looked around, feeling tears of exhaustion and confusion spring to her eyes. 

"Irvine..." she called again, but her voice was weaker. "Squall....Quistis..." she murmured, rolling onto her back so she wouldn't be face down in the damp sand. She dug her fingers into the sand, trying to move herself further up the beach, but before she could she was wetted to the waist by another wave. Selphie choked back a sob as her head began to hurt, feeling completely alone. "Irvine!" she cried in a high pitched voice. Again she was met with only the sound of the waves. 

"Zell...Rinoa....anyone...please help me," she whispered. She felt her side, but instead of the comforting hard wood of her nunchaku, she felt the satin of her pink dress. She was totally defenceless, but she doubted she would be able to fight anyway. Suddenly she heard a sound of someone running, and felt arms around her chest, pulling her into a sitting position. Selphie tried to open her eyes, but she couldn't see who it was. He, or she, didn't speak as they lifted Selphie into the air, and she felt her head cradled against someone's chest. 

"Irvine..."she whispered hopefully. There was no reply. Selphie looked up, making an effort to open her eyes. She felt a cold terror creeping over her as she looked into her saviour's face. 

It was the tall dark man from her nightmare. 

*************************************************************************** 

"Selphie, it's me," Squall said softly to her, laying her on the dry sand out of the waves. Selphie looked at him, but she couldn't focus. She moaned softly, and Squall frowned. It was as if she was hallucinating...something was definitely wrong. 

"Selphie, can you hear me? Have you taken anything?" he asked her. Selphie gasped, waving her arm wildly. He grabbed her hand, pressing it to his chest. 

"It's alright Selphie." he said softly. She seemed to calm down, and stopped moving in his arms. She stared unseeing at him. 

"Squall!" she said sharply. He frowned. 

"I'm here. Holding you," he said to her. Selphie reached out to him, and tentatively, he took her hand. Gradually, her sight returned to her. 

"Squall....I've got a headache..." she murmured. Squall helped her to her feet. She swayed, her hand on his chest to steady herself. Squall put his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned against him heavily. 

"I can't walk," she said softly, her legs trembling. Squall sighed. 

"Then I'll carry you." he said. Selphie put her arms around his neck and he scooped her legs up, walking along the sand. Selphie laughed quietly. Squall frowned again. 

"What?" he asked, still worried about her. Selphie smiled at him, able to see clearly now. 

"What would Rinoa think if she saw us?" Selphie said huskily. Squall sighed. 

"She'd probably run over and ask me what the hell I'd done to you." he answered wryly. Selphie laughed, then her face fell. 

"Where's Irvine?" she asked. Squall increased his pace. 

"I don't know. I only saw you on the beach, I have no idea where he is. Squall replied. Selphie looked worried. 

"Squall, we have to find him!" she said, struggling slightly. Squall gripped her tighter. 

"Selphie, you're not going anywhere. You know what happened to Kiera. I'm not having the same thing happen to you. I promise, I will find Irvine." he said grimly. Selphie went silent and didn't say a word until they got to Garden, where she was immediately handed over to a nurse who was waiting anxiously at the entrance. As Squall turned to leave, she grabbed him hand. 

"Find him, please," Selphie whispered. Squall nodded gravely. 

*************************************************************************** 

Rinoa heard gasps of amazement from the students watching her as she called on her****powers to defeat the enraged T-Rexaur in front of her. A brilliant white light shot from her outstretched palm, straight into the heart of the monster. After a terrible strangled cry, the giant beast fell down dead, and there was a thunderous applause from the twenty or so students watching her. Rinoa ignored them, and shutting her eyes briefly, cast Holy on three Grats which were behind her. 

Physically exhausted, Rinoa took a deep breath, and sat on a flat rock nearby, breaking open an elixir. She was too tired to waste her magic on curing herself. She needed to train, she wanted to be in the best physical condition she could, especially with this illness going around. Anyway, Squall said it would probably be a good thing for her to work out, she enjoyed it, and it helped her develop her Sorceress skills. 

She had gone to the Training centre because she couldn't sleep, and she thought Squall would be here. He wasn't, but as she had brought her weapon, she decided to train anyway. Rinoa smiled as she felt a twinge in her stomach, bordering on pain. Although she was only a month pregnant, Edea had said because she was a Sorceress the baby would be different, special. There was nothing to worry about, she knew her baby would be fine. Like she knew it was a little girl. Already, Rinoa was beginning to form a bond with her tiny son or daughter, and although Dr Kadowaki had told her the sex hadn't even been determined yet, she sensed it was female. She would get a shock if the baby turned out to be a boy. 

Rinoa touched her stomach, laying her palm on it, knowing she wouldn't feel kicking or anything, but feeling a sense of wonder that there was a child inside her, Squall's child. She couldn't wait until she would be able to hold this baby in her arms, and see Squall with his child. She knew he would be a good father, and for the first time he would have unconditional love, which he needed so badly, but not even Rinoa could give him, as even now, she didn't fully understand him. 

Rinoa wished she could tell her own mother what she was going through. She knew all her friends supported her, and so did Dr Kadowaki, but none of them had ever had children, none of them knew what she was feeling, not even Squall. Rinoa felt the smile leave her face as she thought of her mother, of the happy times when she was just a little girl. She remembered, painfully, times when she would listen to her mother sing and play the piano, with little Rinoa dancing beside her, making her mother laugh. 

Rinoa felt tears of grief spring to her eyes as she remembered how dream-like life had been for her then. Julia Heartilly had loved her daughter more than anything, much more than she had ever loved her husband, although Rinoa didn't know that until later. She guessed though when she was older, from half-forgotten memories of her mother playing the piano alone in the living room, a sad song, one about love. It was a song which had made her mother famous, and the one which had brought her and her husband together. Rinoa however, now knew that it was made for another, namely, Squall's father. It was Laguna who had always 'sat in the corner of this tiny little bar.' Rinoa knew Laguna was her mothers true love. She was glad though, that Laguna had been made to go to war, because if he and her mother really had got together, she would not have been born, and neither would Squall. 

Then, unbidden, terrible memories of the car crash sprung to her mind. Rinoa's breathing quickened as she remembered the car skidding on the ice, her mother's driver trying desperately to avoid the bus coming straight for them. Rinoa remembered screaming in pure terror as they were hurled from side to side, and then the wrenching moment of collision, when her mother had been ripped from her arms. Little Rinoa had been crushed behind a seat, the strength of the impact forcing her head through a window, and she remembered the shards of glass all over her face, in her eyes, even in her mouth. She was alive though, which was amazing. 

Rinoa had been pulled from the wreckage after her mother. This was because they knew Rinoa was alive and relatively out of danger, but Julia Heartilly was another matter. She was unconscious, covered in blood. Rinoa had never seen her mother after the impact, so thankfully she never had to suffer seeing her mom in such a horrible condition. A little while after, Rinoa had been pulled from the twisted wreckage, crying her hardest, her face completely covered in blood from the numerous superficial cuts and scraped caused by the shattered window her head had been forced through. Her father hadn't comforted the sobbing girl laid on the stretcher, but regarded his four-year old daughter coldly. 

Rinoa knew well he wished she had died that day instead of her mother. She had come to terms with that a long time ago. The loss of Julia destroyed the Caraway family, and when Rinoa was only ten she dropped the name of Caraway, and became Rinoa Heartilly instead. She still missed her mother, even today. Whenever she played the piano, she was reminded of the happy days sitting listening or dancing whilst her mother played all the songs she used to when she was a pianist in the Galbadia Hotel. 

Sighing, Rinoa stood up, feeling exhausted. She decided not to train anymore today, feeling too depressed. She began to walk towards the exit of the training centre, her shoulders slouched as depression crept over her. Wearily, she left the jungle like room, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

*************************************************************************** 

Thankyou to Ian for all his help and advice, you deserve as much recognition for this story as I do. 

This poem, I think, fits in well with exactly how Rinoa felt in this last chapter, especially since the past is becoming such a major issue in this fic. 

Piano 

Softly in the dusk, a woman is singing to me 

Taking me back down the vista of years til I see 

A child sitting under the piano, in the boom of the tingling strings 

And pressing the small, poised feet of the mother who smiles as she sings. 

In spite of myself, the insidious mastery of song 

Betrays me back, till the heart of me weeps to belong 

To the old Sunday evenings at home, with winter outside 

And hymns in the cosy parlour, the tinkling piano our guide. 

So now it is vain for the singer to burst into clamour 

With the great black piano appassionato. The glamour 

Of childish days is upon me, my manhood is cast 

Down in the flood of remembrance, I weep like a child for the past. 

D H Lawrence 

Part Two will be up soon.... 

Mail me at : Selphie_Leonhart@day-dream.co.uk 

Visit my website for more FF7/FF8 fanfic: www.RinoaLeonhartFF8.homestead.com **_ _**


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